Comments for Post #C27536

Run baby run can't you see the red flags

He is the son. Ask him to do all this.

You still have time in your hand. You are not yet married to him. Leave him and focus on your career and live a stress free life. Enjoy your own company. Love and all doesn't exist in today's world.

He expects you to put in effort for everything. There’s a strong chance he will stay this way even into old age, where you may end up caring for him and accommodating his choices without receiving much in return. Why can’t his mother adjust to eating food prepared by maids? Would he be open to your parents and family moving in with you as well? You are young and independent. If you can love him despite all his demands and lack of flexibility, you could just as well love someone else who doesn’t expect such one-sided adjustments.

Run....run fast....as far as you can...

He wants a 'TV serial-type bahu'. Please rethink your decision. You’re not married yet. Some changes are bound to happen after marriage, but in your case, he’s putting all the burden on you.

He is clear what he is expecting from you, you can tell your expectations also very clearly. If it works out, go ahead otherwise don't ruin multiple lives.

Can u run? Then run

No wonder he is 36 and unmarried 🤷🏼

so if you love him , then you have fit into his expectation fromy you ... If not then be sure that marriage is going unsuccessful ... so choice is yours how you want to deal with situation .... Life is your future mess is also yours ...

He wants a Superwoman as his wife. If you think you are a Superwoman just to be his wife, please go ahead and marry. But if I were you, I would have showed him the door, which would have been wide open for his exit.

Do whatever you feel to, but pls don’t become Sonam Raghuwanshi or Siya Goel!

As a Matrimonial Attorney & Gender Jurist, Listen to me very carefully. Here's what is happening at this time - He 1st showed you the rosy picture he needed you to see to agree to get betrothed to him. He is now telling you the real script for your upcoming lifetime movie. Earlier guys used to just marry straight away after rosy picture but thanks to divorce laws, the person is now trying to act extra smart to claim u knew everything before hand in case you file for divorce. Now for your future :- 1. If he doesn't have House-help already... and says "He WILL Hire after u marry"... well Guess who the "House Help" is gonna be sweety! [Hint: It starts with a 'Y' and ends with a 'U'] 2. His whole family didn't have an issue staying away from him all these years, how come they wanna move-in only now? Surely he's been working for such a long time, mother dear never felt "How will her Raja-Beta be Eating without Ghar ka khana" then? 3. You love him now - But this is gonna end up like those stories where u will - SCENARIO 1 - Either end up agreeing to be the effective 'House-Wife' sacrificing all your career and dreams for him and TRUST ME, in a little while, while u take care of his family, he'll most probably be out there with a side-chick looking for adventure. OR SCENARIO 2 - You will keep working, still be expected to work at home like a maid, and Eventually Burnout. That will lead to fights, may be even affect ur mental health or cause domestic violence- And the Very Man you "Love" Now... will become your greatest Hate. RESULT: 1. Either you end up losing your identity and ending up like most dogmatic doormat wives sitting in a corner like furniture only looking good occasionally at functions for photos to keep up family appearances aka "Ghar ki Izzat"; Or 2. You will walk out on him and this is gonna end up in a very ugly divorce battle. SOLUTION 1: Draft a pre-nup (don't go by whoever says "it isn't valid in India". The right lawyer like us knows how to draft one, and make it work) [Details only provided on DM]; SOLUTION 2: Easiest at the moment, may cause you some heartache but will save you a lot of trouble... - RUN!! Run Away and NO MATTER WHAT HE SAYS, WHAT HE BACKTRACKS, NO MATTER if he says ok they won't come or whatever - DO NOT, and I repeat... DO NOT proceed with this marriage without a contract and T&Cs for separation in place!! Feel Free to DM in case you need help to proceed. ATB

It's not a love but it's a love for a well settle package, age difference must be 1-3 year enough but u love his package truely and u r। Not able to see anything more, what's wrong to wear indian bahu type, and cook for family? U never cook for ur mom dad bro sis? His age is 36 and he know that having kid in right time is good for him coz when he will 57-58 then his kid will 20

Red flags.Run away .you ll get a better person .live with ur conditions too. Politely say no that you are not fit for their expectations. Explain to your parents they ll understand. Your to be mom in law does not like maids cooked tomorrow it ll be other things .you ll be pada likha maid for them.wish you the best ❤️

It is a big no.. Hez atleast kind enough to warn you .. Once in law's step in problems will definitely come in and that cannot be avoided at any cost. Please be wise than sorry.

Had he been clear in his expectations since starting then that would be a different thing, but he first said what was comfortable for you, then got families involved and now has opened his real cards... Take things slowly form here... Discuss what you can do and what not... Only then move ahead... Love is important so are other things too..

You are just 26 now ,run away from him if you are not ever mentally prepared to live like this ,take 1 year break for yourself you can date for 2 year tell the person clearly how you want to live after marriage and you can marry till 30 and have kids till 34.

Trust me there is no one wdout we cannot live our life, u will regret the decision of marrying him...marry him only if u r okay doing all these things but if u r agree wd all this just because u love him then don't go for it...

Do not marry All he sees in you is package

He wants a super wife. Are you one?? Better run at the first opportunity.

Run for your life!.

I wonder these MILs who don't like house help cooked food . 1. Either make it yourself 2. Find the right cook / chef whose food you like or teach her. 3. Should have taught their son and he could have met the expectations. No two people have the same cooking style except those who have eaten her cooked food for too long . I wonder more about the son who communicate this absurdity without feeling the weirdness about it. Seriously, send all such parents to a trip abroad for 2 weeks and they will become practical and maybe thankful that they are getting to eat .

Pls don't marry him..you will be trapped

Res flags baby!! He wants maid with. High paying job

Once you do all thing for his love then you will look like older then he will lose interest in you and find someone else for love 😂... cooking is ok as everyone wants home food .. you can keep helper with you... Also it's not only your responsibility to sacrifice... Let him do some... Ask him for some your demand and let's see his answer and then you will know how much he love... Why always accepts his demand for love let him accept your demand too

He openly said reject meee

Unrealistic ....only possible in movies.....clearly bring this out to him and if he is not agreeing to this then ....no point continuing

Not a good sign. Discuss with him and tell your concern.

Well my husband’s situation being similar(well settled and parents dependent on him) still he expects me to hire house help for cleaning (already there) and cooking (i cook) and also don’t expect me to spend my earnings on anything at home, he want kids so i m a toddler mom even for taking care of baby he asked me to hire someone who can help me, but i do not want to spend money so now taking care of my baby and working besides. Now he never asks or expects me to be a typical Indian bahu, I would never do that by dressing and all, i believe in doing responsibilities, I have full independence from him to live like a queen 👸 and i live in his house which he bought for US only to be the queen 👸 of his house.

Either love his lifestyle or change his life slowly, if you have patience. Else reject him and keep on searching someone who fits in your mould. Marriage is all about adjustment, from both sides. See where you want to adjust, in love or in lifestyle.

U tell ur expectations,he will run

I believe everyone should contribute and make adjustments in a family. Love is fine. You can explain to him that since you’re already working, cooking every day may be difficult. However, you can try to cook on weekends or whenever possible. The real question is whether he’s willing to make adjustments too. Marriage works when both partners contribute, compromise and sacrifice.

Prioritise career over love! All that cooking for family etc aint life! Make money enjoy life! Simple!

You are able to fall in love with this current version of yourself where things are mostly sorted , eventually when all of this burden will come you won't even find yourself so love is of no guarantee, instead look for peace and good lifestyle over this burden and yeah if he also loves you then he would ask his family to adjust as well , relationship should be both ways

Oh my God..love is really blind..

Piece of advice Stop talking to him if he nevotiates on the ground u are comfortable with only then go ahead u have age left but he doesn't have that so he needs to compromise a bit also

u can't imagine marrying another one! so shape up or ship out, the ball in your court.

And what he's suppose to do rather than helping you having kid asap? Besides what are you doing with an uncle/bhaiya? You're 26 get someone 28 or 30 you'll be exhausted once the marriage is done , cause you've already started noticing what's not right according to you , girl just leave him early so that he can get an ideal match for him🤗

Please have a clear conversation with him and decide accordingly as later you may have to repent and may have to leave the job as you will be over burdened. Marriage is the responsibility from both sides.

Whatever you do, don't be Raghuvanshi or Siya please.

He is not well settled... a well settled will not expect his wife to work (it becomes wife's choice), that too expect her to get a job of higher package.

You are lucky to know him before wedding cancel the wedding you are a independent working woman so live your life enjoy it.. Marriage is part of life not end ..he needs a live in maid.. So be happy.

10 years of Age Difference Future Affair Going to implement... 😅😂🤣

If you truly loves him...marry him...otherwise you will have regret for whole life ..not everyone is lucky to get marry a person whom they love....you can change him later with time....

Apart from the higher package and the standard Indian bahu dress code, almost all his wants seem practical and legit. The other two are outright ridiculous and confusing. The cooking and stuff can be communicated and modified. Just give it a try. If it works out, then fine or else take a call

You need to have an honest conversation with him

Instead of asking from strangers here talk it out with your partner and explain your expectations too and hear from him.... There is compromises in any successful relationship but from both sides. If he is just asking only u to compromise and u think u can't live your whole life like that than go on your own ways, there are lots of men out there.

I am happy that he has clearly mentioned his intentions and preferences. Prove him to understand all his expectations. And the take a well informed call. Life is all about prioritising - u want to prioritize love or life it’s upto u … u atleast know what u are getting urself into

if you can change your mindset .. sacrifice your carrer and be an ideal bride ..housewife and later ideal mother . belive me you will be Happy in the end and will proud for your decision.. family life bhi bahot acchi life hoti hai..uska bhi apna mazaa hai..carrrer job salary ek time par thik hai but ek time ke baad family priority ban jaati hai ban jaani chahiye.. husband ko earning karne do or aap ghar sambhalo

Love is not the only question here. He is describing an entire life structure in which you would work, cook twice daily, care for his dependent family, dress according to their expectations, have a child quickly, and still pursue a higher-paying job. That is not a small adjustment; it is the role he expects you to accept. Have one very direct conversation about living arrangements, cooking responsibilities, finances, childcare, clothing choices and whether your career will have equal priority. Proceed only if the agreement is specific and genuinely acceptable to you—not because you are afraid of losing him. You can also use this free pre-marriage clarity check to organise what still needs discussion: https://soulally.in/rishta-check.html

Itna he pyar h toh shadi kr lo.. otherwise he is a red forest

If you both want to make it work, discuss with clam mind what can be possible and what is not.. have a clear common goal and see if you both can stick to it. Few changes are bound to happen but core idea should be same.. All the best 🤝

Higher package job and bahu stuff is jot possible together. He should drop either job related requirements or bahu related requirements. I think this marriage will have issues in future.

Firstly he trapped you pretty well as he is 10 years older than you so it was easy to brainwash you and making you fall in love then he showed his true colours when you can't go back n it would break your heart into pieces. My advice is to speak to him honestly and openly about your expectations, concerns and issues and let him know its not possible for you to do all those else you guyz have to separate. If he genuinely loves you, he would understand, take a step back and consider your opinion. Else girl, he doesn't care about you and you being younger girl good fertility rate because he is aging so he trapped you He could have easily got high earning women of his age or may be a year or 2 younger but why did he trap you??? That's the question you should ask yourself. Sometimes its better to listen to your brain and it helps in the long term. A divorce and mental peace impact later on can be avoided

If you feel he’s worthy enough then you have to abide with whatever he says! But I see this as demands as he’s telling all this after the wedding date is fixed! I somehow feel this as trap!

Run fast …as far as u can…

Might be he is checking you in this deed what will be your stand don't be eager to say no have a couple of discussion with free hold not argument

Your life will be hell as well and you will also make his as well... So stay away from him ....the love which you are telling,once you married , it will be completely different so better stay away ..don't even negotiate or surrender ...he may try to pursuade you or tell you you don't have to do all these things once you tell or convey your decision but make sure dont fall to the trap ...after marriage it will change completely ...

Sit discuss and than discuss with yourself Answer is simple Live your life.. Solution is what? Which results in your smile. Some cases parters smile is more important for our smile and in some cases leaving the parter is more important for your smile.. This is not correct platform to get ans.. Ask yourself is correct platform

Wow - run for your life! He has demands of you, does he ask and know what you want and feel about this well-planned arrangement he has created for your future? And this so called love will evaporate if things get ugly due to his unreasonable expectations

All the love will fly away when you will be forced to do all this against your choice every day. Carrying all the burden alone doesn't leave room for love. Don't step into the trap.

Its good your settling down you should be happy

He wants Kids asap,He wants a higher paying job,He wants you to cook all day for his family as his mother doesn't like food from Cook.Is he for real?..You are in love with him but he is not.He is not even thinking about you & your well being..He did not even ask about your expectations..Plz don't marry you will face immense problems.You will be trapped throughout & love will fade away for sure.You are just 26yrs & you have a good time to think about your future.

He wants to cook morning and evening and wants you to take high package job.wanted kids also immediately. Please reconsider your decision

Run ....these are all drama created by Indian serials.

Save yourself immediately He is looking for a free maid to look after his family Run as fast as you can

If you were not able to imagine getting married to other guy then start imagining now....coz after reading your post I am sure once you get married to this guy you will regret of not imagining getting married to other guy at right time.

Bhaag ja bahan..bacha le apni jindagi...isse better to single hi raho

As you said, he is expecting you to being a ideal wife and not sure what is wrong in being a ideal wife for something?

Do anything bs marna mt bechare ko 🙏🙏

You are lucky to know these before marriage, run fast girl... Do not fall into the trap

Beta bhaago.

He wants 'submissive provider'. 36yo man dating 26yo woman is itself a red flag. He has remained single for so long. And choose young girl whose prefrontal cortex is not yet developed.

Belt treatment need the most for women These day.. Their expectations day by day

Buy a robot for him,he needs an ai wife

He has been open about everything, don't let that love turn to hatred. Leave and be happy for him and yourself. It's about how much both of you compromise, if one person can't compromise all the way, relationship can't move forward.

You are just 26, you can get way better matches than baby sitting a 36 year old guy and his family. If you still want it to work, tell him clearly that his parents will not be allowed to stay permanently at both of your place. If he do not agree, please call it off immediately.

Move on and Runnn asap.

A 35 years old woman can do all these things you cant skip the experienced years between him and you. so dont get married to aged person.

How does the guy know that they will like the food cooked by the bahu? :-/ Please be clear about how you want your life after marriage like he has clearly stated what he expects in the marriage. Love alone cannot help a relationship survive. If you agree to his condition then in future there should not be any regrets in life

Bhaag jao bhen jitna jaldi ho sakay ..

Fas jaegi jindgi bhr ko. Ye pyar ka bhut bhot jldi utar jata h bhn.

You may love him but that very love will fade because of his immense stupidity. Do not let your in-laws stay with you. Make your boundaries now or regret later. Love won't matter then. Tell him if you stay separate even your family can visit freely. Which is fair. Don't fall into this trap please. You're so young. He's making you into a workhorse not a wife. Beware girl!

Please Please don't get married with that guy. U love him it doesn't mean u are a super woman, in that situation love will vanish one day. Your man doesn't want you, he wants a caretaker with money making machine

Pls leave.. at least he told all this before marriage

Run far away and dont look back

What is there to love in him?????? Why do you even need advise for this?

Just leave him

Tell him you are not a wonder woman.

Just leave him without any 2nd thought. 10 year gap ❌, there is generation gap in mindset,this can't be fixed by love.

Bhago... bhago

He wants You to Leave Him , he's definitely interested in someone else.

he wants you to back off..that way u will be the one to be called unfaithful..now it's on you,live your life in a constant chaos and leave your smile forever or get a tag of unfaithful , n live your life in peace and get married only when u meet a like - minded person..he ain't worth it

Bhaag Milkha bhaag..

usko bolo m nokri hi nh krti hun kama or khila sbko

Ok but please don't kill the guy for this

Walk out simple n short rather cry later

Bach gya wo Bhala aadmi

Run