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Comments for Post #C27471
Submit ConfessionGender: Female15 June 2026 at 6:40 pm
#C27471 This is my second marriage. I'm in my late 30s and met my husband through a dating app. We were both divorced and spent about a year getting to know each other before getting married. During that time, he was caring, respectful, supportive, and everything I was looking for in a partner. To be fair, he is still a good husband in many ways. The problem is that after marriage, he gradually started expressing interests and expectations that I was never comfortable with and had never experienced before. He talks about things such as clubbing, drinking, visiting adult entertainment venues, and involving other people in our private life. These are things that completely go against my values, personality, and what I imagined marriage would be. Whenever these topics come up, I feel uncomfortable and confused. I don't want to judge him, but I also don't want to do things that make me feel pressured or unhappy. He says he's only sharing his fantasies and interests, but I worry that our expectations of marriage may be very different. The hardest part is that this is my second marriage. The thought of another divorce is emotionally exhausting. In my family and social circle, being divorced again would bring a lot of questions, pressure, and judgment. At the same time, I don't want to spend years feeling anxious or compromising my own boundaries. I still care about him and there are many good things about our relationship. That's why I'm feeling so stuck. Am I overthinking this? Should I firmly set my boundaries and hope he accepts them? Has anyone successfully navigated a marriage where partners had completely different lifestyles, values, or expectations? Looking for genuine advice from people who may have experienced something similar.
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Comments (36)
U set your boundaries. Do not lose yourself in pleasing his fantasies. If he is good, he will understand. Try few things u r ok with and might enjoy but put hard stop on those which is No for u
Sit with him and make him understand your values and boundaries and not to bring those topics again. Hope all works out in your favor
Halka Mon – Your Safe Space To Be Heard
Set very firm boundaries and let him know that these would be deal breakers because once you give in or even behave like you’ll give a thought you’re going to give a green signal to a compromised marriage.
He's still a baby in a grown up body 🥴
No matter what, never push yourself beyond ur moral boundaries, IT'S NOT WORTH IT. All we want in life is peace! There's no point in compromising to that extent where you lose your peace & values.. it is insane actually. Your life is much more important, precious & priceless to you... so don't take decisions considering how your friends, neighbours or relatives will judge you! In any case you are the boss of your life! Be bold & have courage to support yourself. Don't compromise & don't try to please others at the cost of your own peace! Remember u have a long way to go... it's not a matter of few days that you can return to your comfort zone again... so don't make yourself uncomfortable inside your own fort!
You please hold on to your values . What he is expecting from you is NOT the norm . See boundaries and state that you prefer to leave that be in a relationship . Also specify that he be vocal that you will have to disclose the reason for pursuing divorce to outside world .
As a women you have the right to set your boundaries. Involvement of other guys in private life of hubby wife these are all western concepts. Stay away from all those it has the potential to destroy your health and marriage. Just talk with him in middle path saying . You are open for suggestions to improve spice up intimacy life BUT only between you both as hubby and wife no one else . Still if he forces then sorry to say you need to take tough decisions in life honey. Forgetting about what so called *** society and family will think 🤔 Peace is important in life whether single or married. It's your body . And you got to take care of that till yamraj comes calling to take your soul . And most importantly stick with your values . Don't change it for your extrahh naughty hubby. Even brother Shashi Kapoor did not changed his values for other brother Amitabh Bachchan in the movie Deewar. Stay firm honey.
this is a clear indication that he doesn't respect your values but focus to put his views on you and make you to follow. Husband and wife life to be such that both respect other values and align themselves in such a way their bonding and closeness increases and move forward in life happily Pl note no one else cares for others and all this points mentioned by you are done only to please others where one focus to be respect the person who is part of one life first. Nothing too late Discuss with him 1:1 even in outside place when you both are close. I hope a solution will emerge. God Bless you Bd support you
He's very fond of porn I think. Tell him if this continues, you'll leave him and spread his mindset in the society. He is totally wrong on his part. You're his wife, and you deserve to be lived with utmost modesty. Otherwise slowly he'll ask swa..ing
Talk to him Tell him all these honestly Relax
Atleast if you are open an flexible to some extent, things can be discussed and worked out....show him you are flexible and open minded but to a point.....
Your thoughts are on right way, please once again clear with him if he will not stop,go to your way ,don't think about others
Individuals fantasies may vary(darker), Now it depends on how well one is ready to understand the partner’s comfort and set the boundaries on fantasies… With adjustments you can’t live your life There should be understanding… #Ashte
>> In my family and social circle, being divorced again would bring a lot of questions, pressure, and judgment. >> Will they still judge you even after you tell them the truth - "he was asking me to visit adult entertainment venues, and involving other people in our private life. I didn't want to do that. So we divorced."
If he has already communicated his “fantasy” with you before marriage and you still chose to get along with him, you have committed to him in his terms. If his fantasy is a surprise story for you post marriage then it is a huge red flag and you have all the grounds to move away from him without second thoughts. Even if you were aware before marriage and you feel that you are not comfortable now, you can still move out. No one really cares about your personal life. Do what makes you happy. Tc ✌️
No means no be it any1
If you do everything he says to please him, you’ll end up frustrated and lose yourself. Talk to him. Set boundaries on what you’re not okay with. Join in on fantasies you’re fine with, maybe clubbing. Be a bit flexible when you can.
Eww he isn't marriage material..hope he aligns with your expectations
Sharing fantasies is one thing, but making you feel pressured is another. You have every right to firmly say, "I love you, but these are things I will never be comfortable with." A good partner will respect that boundary without making you feel guilty.
First of all you did the right thing by having a first divorce from the wrong guy- Now again you have repeated the mistake of second marriage - it's late realization too late babes- The only thing I hope is that at least your second husband is rich and can afford a wealthy lavish lifestyle for you
U too do like this then only your husband knows ur pain .
Try couple counseling it will surely works for both of you. Stay strong
Just because he's a man and you're a woman doesn't mean that he can do anything he wants. Keep your values keep your morals. Thus marriage is equally important for both of you. He needs to respect your boundaries. If he persists on such ilicit activities, end the marriage. Instead of dying daily inside, it's better to stick to your morals, and move on. Family n society n what they feel are illusions. If you suffer, they will talk that ur choice is wrong. If u leave the marriage, they will tell the same, but atleast you will be mentally ok.
Well , make it clear to your spouse in one-on-one conversation. The 2nd level of options are create social pressure involving one or both of his parents -- parents are the only ones you can trust. 3rd level-- stay far from him for 6months or so, give him some space, even if he decides to go illicit, let him see the consequences of his 'noble' thoughts
Well! As long as you think about society and all, you'll never be able to live in peace. Think of your life, tell him straight, I am not into all these, or if you are into this, I am not the right person. Then see how the time will take you and where? Don't harm your peace in this process.
I can see why he has the first divorce at least 💀😂
Leave that circle and find another circle if you are financially independent
Womp womp
Join Thirtyfound.com instead of other shaadi app... it's 100% verified profiles and it's only for 30+
If you are open minded for disucssion please ping me..
Small things you are adding fuel to fire. Too much education too much divorce. Less education life is compromised in all ways. A beggers and homeless people life is more happier than the people in here
Once divorced people should not marry again. Thats the biggest lesson one should take
All his fantasies are showing symptoms of something worse where so called modern couples involved in dirty activities, do not entertain or else you will regret it later. Fall in your own eyes when you lost all your values, if you feel he won't change for your self leave him, he is no more a family person, look for a gentlemen who wish to lead happy married life and have kids in future....
you can get one more divorce and get married one more time ......or try live in and have multiple sex partners ...
Omg
😂😂locanto might be the app name 😂😂