Comments for Post #C27468

The real issue isn't her past, it's the fact that a year later you still don't trust her. Marriage cannot survive where trust is missing. If you're still losing sleep, replaying events, and questioning everything after all this time, you need to honestly ask yourself whether you can truly move forward or if you're holding on out of fear of letting go.

She was 16-17, naive girls. This happened at least 13 yrs ago. She must be more mature now, people change. Let this go. Work on actively forgiving her and forgetting this. Go take help of a therapist if needed. But if you can't 100% forgive her or trust her, break up with her. She deserves better.

Leave and move on simple rather then hurting ur self ahead in life

>> Am I being unfair for not being able to look past things that technically happened before we officially committed? >> Yes that's unfair. But you can say that - I'm unable to trust you. So let's break up.

Bhai kat gaya hai tumhara. Shanti se nikal lo. Saadi to tumse wo kabhi na karegi.

people do evolve and everyone has some dark side within, are you a saint,you never did anything?? sometimes, It’s really nice to not know everything about everyone and that’s the way out. Whatever you saw , was her true self but she is in denial mode bcz she was too scared to tell you! may be, you guys never had that comfort zone. Otherwise it aint a big deal to share about dark past.

So I want to share my own experience. As a girl when I was also in my 16, 17 I used to create different Facebook accounts and sometimes used to chat with mostly people I knew somehow. But later maybe after using those account for a couple of months I forgot the password and the funny thing was I had added some of those accounts in my personal Facebook account. So later I came to know that those accounts are active and are being used by other people. So there are possibilities that those chats or things you mentioned was really hacked her account. Or he accounts were used by other people.

Relationship is based on trust. 1. What happened before she met you is none of your business 2. You cannot trust her is your problem 3. Read this message again you have your answer. You have no trust so don’t create trouble because of your inability to trust. Move on

Time has the answer .. leave it on time . Concentrate on your life , well being and career . Some things in life which needs to fall take time to gradually come to end .. This is start of that process .. it's painful but that's how life is .. Give your self Time

Give her a chance to be good

Every body has a past don't go in that live for today ..n she is living good way ..

This is exactly what is going on with me 😭😔😭

The way you started to write I thought you had unalived someone and need drum advice. Anyway...she was a minor back then, rather than asking what she was going through to take drastic steps or whether she was vulnerable and exploited ...you're putting a virtue tag on her forehead. Do one thing, dump her and meet someone new then write here again so that we can call you for the streets. Indian men!

That is so unfortunate. I dont think u can forget that and lead a peaceful life with her. She could have lied in the fear of loosing u. Maybe you should take some time to decide on this. Peace of mind do matter.

Run! People even lie on their children to cover lies. You are not hallucinating here. Reality check for you

Sad

If anyone need astrological guidance for free. I am going to provide you... Remedies are based on mantra and are chargeable. I don't believe in precious stones... WhatsApp me on 7980121659

So many things to consider. Firstly, for many girls who grew up in a sheltered yet controlled household, where they felt unseen n unvalued silently, when they step out into the dating world, a budding sexuality becomes the easiest and most exciting way to get validation and finally feel valued. Lot of times it's a self worth issue that's playing out as promiscuity. A self worth that's still developing through academic and career success. A feeling of significance and maturity that develops over time overcomes often this need for external validation. If you were single and you had girls fawning all over you, I wonder what your restraint would've been. That being said, biology is biology. Guys are wired to be possessive, it's in the very essence of their love, a sense of ownership that says "you're mine", it's a beautiful possessiveness that enables guys to provide, sacrifice and commit to the one they love. Her past undermines your significance. There were others before you and the fear that there maybe others during or after eats the guy alive. It destroys the very idea of romance in your heart and the need that your girl is "special". She wouldn't do what other girls did. If she isn't "special", then the exorbitant effort the guy takes to court a girl does not seem worth it. It's always easier for a girl to get a guy interested than the other way around, isn't it? That's why you'll have girls who defend the girl saying "it was a phase" and guys who tell you to "run for the hills". They're both right in their way. You need to consider what was within you that caused you to overlook something that's clearly bothered you from day 1 and try to be something that you were not, by trying to accept her past. What people pleasing savior complex you may have that caused you to overlook your own true emotions to hold onto the girl? Cos if you felt cheated by her past, that same past should've been the reason to end it then. Now? After 2 years where there's been nothing from her end to hurt you in that regard, if you felt cheated, you should've ended it before getting her to invest and commit to you. That's cheating too. It's also worrisome that she denies the past. Meaning she has not probably learned anything from it. She probably feels there was nothing wrong and there's no point being honest. That may indicate a lack of self loyalty and a suppressed need for external validation and emotional and physical highs that may rear it's ugly head when things get difficult in the future. Trust me when I say this, this will forever stay on your mind and your rumination will make it worse, it goes against your value system and you will always hold it against her causing resentment to build for you. She will feel betrayed that despite being loyal to you, this is being held against her and she will grow bitter too. You may just manifest the very thing you fear. Have a mature talk. Tell her your truth and what you feel, create a safe space for her to open up but be very clear about what works for you. If she accepts her past and takes responsibility in trying to understand what caused it for her and how she's grown, and if she's willing to reflect and reassure you in the strongest way possible that'll assuage your fears, then go ahead. If not, apologise profusely for wasting her time and end it. If you go into this marriage with this cloud over your head, that marriage is dead from the start.

Chor de aur aage badh. Itna dramatic mat ban. Duniya ki last ladki nahi hai woh.

Happened before your relationship? Get off your high horse, she doesn't owe you shit. Get over it and move on. Happened during your relationship? She's a lying, gaslighting randi and should dump her cheating ass in order to heal yourself. Hope this helps.

Bhag Milkha Bhag!

Leave her

RAW EVIDENCE CANNOT BE IGNORED. YOU KNOW SHE IS LYING. SHE HAS NO LOYALTY. BITE THE BULLET AND MOVE ON. HER ACTIONS ARE SCARY TO SAY THE LEAST. WHEN IN DOUBT LEAVE OUT

It's crystal clear, she is a lier & drama queen, she knows how to play with Ppl's mind (eg swearing in temple & niece), another proof she has been playing with too many male's since teenage (which was accidentally discovered & shocked her), And the kind of typical low morals & lier female she is .... Notwithstanding her family's social standing which she is safeguarding by lie'ing but character can't be hidden for long.... Just dump her, show her real face before your family so that they don't feel emberassed, it's such a easy decision, which due to your age and immaturity is such a huge burdens by now, you definitely don't need to slog it over for a year .... And don't you take entire family & whole world burden on your head, one issue at any time, and stress is more harmful than you can ever imagine, (just spit it out, it's poisonous, you did nothing wrong)..

Dump her and find someone else