Comments for Post #C27459

#C27459 This is not a confession but my problem. It's a little long so please bear with me. I need some advice. Please post this. I am 30M from a small town, physically fit and good looking and working in a big MNC. When I was in graduation, I had a huge crush on one of my classmates. She was from a middle class family but extremely beautiful and looked like she belonged to a wealthy family. We were good friends but I always felt uncomfortable with her and nothing happened between us. Even when I had a chance to express my feelings I couldn't. She knew about it and never did anything, maybe because she didn't have any feelings. After college, we parted ways for further studies. After 3-4 years, I completely moved on from her thoughts, but this period was very hard and terrible for me. After that I started a job and experienced some casual relationships. Although I intended for long term, it always ended up a short fling. The longest lasted 1.5 years, and I got physical with some of them. The reason was always compatibility. I was never a fancy guy, didn't know how to react in certain situations and felt hard to express my feelings. The girl with whom I spent 1.5 years was kind of a sx addict. Even though I could fulfill her physical needs, I found it strange that she only used to think about it. She was in my company and I used to drop her at her rented flat, and everytime she would invite me inside with only one purpose. Initially I loved that phase for a few months, but slowly I realised she had no interest in other things. I tried to figure things out but found she was cheating on me with a friend. After that I didn't have any relationship except paid sx sometimes. Then one day on linkedin, I saw a post which stopped my heartbeat. My college crush joined my company and everything I forgot was right in front of me. I could not sleep for 2-3 days thinking about her. I finally decided to talk and sent a message directly on teams. She was surprised as she didn't know I was in the same company. We decided to meet on our next hybrid office visit. The next Monday, we were both in the office and I really froze when I saw her. As she approached, I started hearing my own heartbeat. We then started coming to office together. I again fell in love and kept dreaming about a future with her. Just like before, she had a sense of my situation and decided to talk. We both came to my flat after office. I came to know she was getting married in Dec 26. But she also told me she had a crush on me in college but waited too long for me to confess, and now there are no chances. I didn't know how to react but had tears in my eyes. I hugged her for 10-15 minutes, cried a lot and we eventually ended up kissing. We both lost in the moment and I tried to take things to the next level but midway she stopped me and left. I kept calling her all the time but she didn't pick up. She ignored me in the office for 10-12 days until I told her I can't live like this and will leave the company. That day she came to me and asked to take her to my flat in evening to talk. There she fought with me, told me it was too late and accused me of wanting her body only without understanding her situation. I didn't know what to say, I just hugged her tightly and not sure why, I never felt this much hony in my entire life. We both didn't realise when we crossed boundaries. But to my shame, I finished in 30 seconds. I didn't know what or how it happened. I told her I would love to marry her but she said she won't see me ever again. After 40-50 minutes, we started again and I again failed in 30-40 seconds. Then she left. The next day she didn't say a single word in office, not even a hello. I told her I will wait in the parking. In the evening, she came and without a word sat on my bike. I took her to my room, she herself started doing things but I again faced the same situation and she left. Since then, it happened every time we attended office. She would hardly talk the whole day but would come in the evening. It happened 9-10 times and each time I failed within one minute. I tried viagra pills, delay gels, condoms etc but none worked, only extending my time from 20-30 seconds to 1 minute which wasn't enough. Before her, I never had this problem, my sx addicted ex loved me for this. Finally she opened her mouth and told me I am a s*x addict and have ED. I couldn't say a word but felt so frustrated. I called my ex and felt like she was waiting for me; I didn't feel any issue with her that night. The next day again she came to my flat, and again I failed at the start only like 5-10 seconds. Later, she cried a lot, left and didn't come to the office again. I found she had resigned a month ago and it was her last working day. Her phone is switched off. She has also deactivated her insta and LinkedIn. I don't know what to do. I am very frustrated. My ex wants us to get back because of that 1 night but I can't.