Comments for Post #C27465

#C27465 Hi everyone, hope you are all doing well. This is not a confession but more of a story to tell, and I hope it helps someone out there. I am a 26 year old software engineer from Pakistan doing a 9 to 5 job while also pursuing an MS in AI. I have a religious personality, or at least that is what people think of me. From the very beginning I was clear in my mind that I could not be with someone just for fun or to pass time. I believed I should only approach someone when I felt ready and serious, so I never made any female friends until now. It is not that I am shy or introverted. In my bachelor's I spent my free time playing cricket, going on road trips, hiking mountains, and cooking. I always believed there should be a boundary between men and women in interactions. In my second semester of MS AI, I started noticing one of my classmates. It just hit me hard. Her personality, her views, and the way she carried herself truly impressed me. This was the first time I had ever experienced the feeling of genuinely liking someone. I thought it was just a random thing but the feelings kept growing, so I tried to analyze the situation, considering my finances, family circumstances, and overall readiness before making any move. I also discussed it with a friend I reconnected with after eight years. He knew me well and suggested I go for it. I did not want to approach her face to face because she is a reserved person and I did not want to create any drama in university or make her uncomfortable. So I texted her on WhatsApp and was very direct. I told her I genuinely liked her and was serious, not just saying I loved her because I have a different definition of love and did not want to use that word lightly. I simply wanted to get to know each other, only if she wanted, and if she was already committed I would completely respect that. She replied with sorry and told me she was already engaged. For the first time in my life I felt the pain of heartbreak. She was the only girl who had ever truly impressed me. For a while I was frozen. I remember on my way back from university one night, walking alone in the darkness, I just started crying without even realizing it. No one around. Just me and the dark and the weight of something that never even had a chance to begin. I am not someone who cries easily but that night I could not help it. It was quiet and honest grief. The hardest part was having to face her every day in class. From that day I avoided all eye contact and any possible interaction for months so she would not feel uncomfortable or pressured. I felt that someone being uncomfortable just because of my existence would be insulting to both of us. One thing I truly believe is that you cannot force someone to love you. Love and attraction are completely mutual. The entire purpose of marriage is mutual respect and love. Without that foundation I see no point. To anyone out there experiencing one sided feelings, you simply cannot force someone to feel what they do not feel. Burdening someone emotionally or trying to convince them serves no purpose if they have already given you a clear answer. It is better to carry your self respect and move on. You can live without love, but you cannot live without respect. Love is purely mutual. It cannot be one sided, and if it is, it was never really love to begin with. Thanks for reading. Any suggestions or feedback are welcome.