Comments for Post #C27410

Brother, from one Indian family perspective to another, I think you already know the answer. The real question is whether you are willing to accept the guilt that comes with it. Your mother having cancer is tragic. Nobody is questioning that. But cancer does not give someone a free pass to emotionally abuse others. Being ill explains behaviour; it does not excuse it. Right now, your wife is pregnant, managing epilepsy, caring for a 1 year old child, helping with your mother’s care, and apparently being expected to cook for the entire household as well. That is not support. That is exploitation. What concerns me most is not your mother’s behaviour. It is the fact that everyone else in the house seems comfortable allowing it to continue while expecting you and your wife to carry the burden. Ask yourself this, if your wife suffers a seizure from stress, if her pregnancy is affected, or if your marriage breaks down, will your mother, father, brother, or sister take responsibility? Or will they simply find someone else to blame? Indian families often raise us with the idea that a “good son” sacrifices everything for his parents. But being a good son does not mean being a bad husband and father. Your first responsibility is now to the family you created your wife and your children. That does not mean abandoning your mother. It means helping her in a way that does not destroy your own household. If I were in your position, I would move out immediately or send my wife to her mother’s home without seeking anyone’s permission. Their approval is not required. Then I would continue helping my mother through visits, appointments, finances, caregiving schedules, hired help, or whatever is realistically possible. People who benefit from your sacrifice will always call boundaries selfish. Let them. The guilt will hurt. But guilt is easier to recover from than a broken marriage, a medically stressed pregnancy, or years of resentment from a wife who feels you watched her suffer and did nothing. Your mother has cancer. Your wife is pregnant. Only one of them is actively being abused right now, and it is your wife. Protect your family (your wife and kids) first.

Your first responsibility is to protect your wife, unborn baby, and child. Illness can explain suffering, but it does not justify emotional abuse or exploitation. Send your wife to a safe place if needed, set firm boundaries, and arrange caregiving responsibilities across siblings. Guilt from leaving is temporary; damage to your family and marriage can last much longer.

Moving out with your family seems a sensible option

1. Move nearby 2. Hire cook, all 3 men can pay for it and both homes can share the food. Ask your sister to cook till she goes back to her in-laws. 3. Remind ur mom and dad that ur wife DESPITE her epilepsy is caring for them. You tell it first but as a strength of ur wife's willpower.

Instant action: Send her to her house asap, handle the drama, that's fine, but at this crucial time at least give her the space 2. Your family might be furious towards her due to hiding her epilepsy, talk to them when she's away, probably it won't help but you might have some perspective of how to deal

The simplest solution for this is to move to a place which is at a radius of 1-2 kms from your current home with your wife and kid. You can take care of your mother whenever she needs your help and also protect your wife and kids from the trauma. It might increase your expenses but that is nothing compared to the mental torture that you have to endure everyday. Given that your brother and father are working I am assuming finance is not a major concern. Another action point could be to appoint a cook for your mother. It is absolutely inhuman to expect a pregnant woman to cook for the entire household especially when there are other people available. Instead of playing the blame game, appoint a cook and solve the issue. A little bit of privacy, boundary and freedom will go a long way in helping save relationships and peace of mind.

So proud of you for standing up and being protective of the family you created over the family you came from. Your mother has your father for support. Your wife and little kids are dependant on you. Stay blessed.

Option 1.. If your mother doesn't respect the support and care your wife is giving to her even during pregnancy, there's no point. You move out., continue the support financially.. If your father and brothers needs your wife for cooling their food, ask them to get a maid as both of them are employed

Just step out with Ur wife n child ..they deserve Ur priority as looking into Ur current situation..when they can't appreciate what u n Ur wife r doing even in such situations, than let them learn the lesson from Ur absent ..

Rent a House close by and move out. Then take care of both.

Ur mother is ur fathers responsibility as he's alive, same way ur wife is ur responsibility. No need to feel guilty to step away from this situation...

I would like to appreciate how sensible and empathetic you are towards your wife and seeing the situation as it is without blaming her. First option is sending your wife back to her house as any stress in pregnancy will not only affect the unborn child but also your 1 year old. This will be lifetime of stress and medical issues if not dealt at this stage.If you were un married in hypothetical sense, how would your family manage cooking ? Would you all starve to death? Ofcourse not. So hire a cook, cleaner to make everyone’s life easy. Hiding a life changing diagnosis is not good but what’s done is done. Can you divorce and leave your wife and both kids? If not then need to move past from this and accept it unfortunately. Even your mother needs to accept the past and stop the taunts

1. Move out 2 get an attender cum cook for ur mom ( all of u I e father bro and urself can share the expenses

An expectant mother's mood and emotions affect the unborn child . So, send your wife and kid to her parents place Next all of you must share in the care taking. Plan that out. If no cooperation from brother and sister and father, hire help. Make sure everyone pays Get someone to cook. Today, most families in similar situation arrange for help. You will have covered everything. Finally lock yourself in your room during work.

Please insist on sending your wife and your baby to your in laws. Hopefully it is in the same city or at least nearby so that you can visit them often. Hire a cook for your home.

Focus on your wife.. if at this stage also if your mom hasnt learnt empathy.. it is time you do the bare minimum

Think of your children who will be witnesses of all this, think of what kind of humans they may grow up to be in that toxic environment. Sorry to bring it out this way, but it’s the fact! Please don’t wait and move out immediately. This is how they are trapping you by indirectly making you feel guilty so you stay..Move out before it’s too late for you and your family. Take care of your responsibility from outside making sure to share this responsibility with your siblings. They will understand your true value when you leave. It’s always the case people don’t care for the ones who live with them. Be strong and take a firm decision

Such a critical situation, wife’s health is in trouble and u r expanding your family ! Go for option 1, stay near by and visit ur parents daily . Give enough privacy to both sides. If ur financial situation allows, have a caretaker for your mom and have an open talk with your siblings . Taking care of parents should be a collective responsibility.

Please move out.. i can understand how toxic mother can feel like (I'm going through the same) move out with your family & hire an nurse for your mother.. don't move closer ok.. take care

Send your wife to her mom's place irrespective of whst anyone says. If food is problem.yoi can hire a cook . Maid can clean up .stress might cause complications in delivery .she's a human and her life has to be valued .and your kid needs a mom.more than grandparents .ask your siblings to take care .it's not necessary that only eldest should take care .so what if she had epilepsy..such people don't deserve to get married or live ?it's not contagious .set boundaries. If possible get a transfer and move .

Send your wife home ASAP, meanwhile utilize this period to move out. Your siblings and father are equally responsible to take care of your mother. As it is clear anyway you and wife are facing nothing but criticism and no gratitude it doesn't make any difference. Move out support financially and visit her during weekends and be there for her medical appointments and procedures and work out a plan with your siblings as of how they would contribute. If a life threatening condition has not humbled her enough to see the green side of life and have gratitude for the minimum joys of life there is absolutely no hope. You are responsible for your wife's and children's mental and physical health and need to prioritise them right now.. this is the most ethical move you can make in my view!

Send your wife to her parents place and you stay with your mother for as long as it takes and get a cook. Keep visiting your wife and kids, that way you will also get some break from the care taking and wife will also have a good stable support from her family. If you all move out, there will be a lot of anger... it'll be so much more hurtful for a son to abandon his mother who's terminally ill with cancer. Make a decision that you can live with.

As a counsellor and coach, I totally agree with the majority openion voiced here, yes you have responsibilities as a child towards your parents, but it cannot come at the cost of harm to your unborn child and wife who despite an equally difficult condition is managing everything. To just get social validation, you should not suffer whatever is possible in terms of financial, hired help or hospital care do that for your mother but get your wife away and if possible move nearby, nothing is worth harming your unborn child

1) Terminally ill patients like people going through cancer , chemotherapy , radiation undergo a lot of things mentally & physically and they need a few counselling sessions.. that's kinda sad not all oncologists talk about it .. 2) But that situation is actually taking a toll on you n your wife, exhausting you mentally n physically. The situation can go from bad to worse anytime, so irrespective of what anybody says move your wife to your inlaws place asap.. this is a damaging move too but lot less than the options you have 3) your brother is also working, father also working, you are also working, money shouldn't be an issue, so asap hire a cook and a maid to clean ( If you don't like the cooks food, you can always train them, many people do) 4) Having resentment about someone (whether or not it's ones fault) for hiding the past, medical history, family history is absolutely understandable cos everybody desires open communication while building an alliance. They should maturely handle it now that you and your wife is a good couple and have a child already and another is on its way but not everyone are cut out for that, and they are no wrong either 5) Have an open communication with everyone ( exclude your mother n wife in this) n make them understand (without fighting ofcourse) about how badly you are exhausted n need to work as a team to sail through it P.S: If you want I can do a counselling free of cost

Send ur wife to her mom..hire a cook and Maid. Ask ur brother dad and sis to share expebses ..weekend go to ur in laws house and be with ur wife and kid..ask ur sis to take care of ur mom 2 days ..ur brother on weekend ..u do for 2 days.. ask ur dad for 1 day..they might need to adjust their Office timing and so on but split and embrace

1. Your wife needs to be healthy and happy during her pregnancy .. she must be physically week as she got pregnant without much recovery time 2. Send her to her parents home 3. Keep a full time maid who can address needs of your mom 4. If you need financial support seek help from siblings 5. Sit with your siblings and explain ur situation see if they can support u 6. U focus on ur work and take care of ur health else u won’t be able to handle ur family

If despite having cancer, she refuses to respect the woman taking care of her, her cancer doesn't give her a free pass!!!! Your primary responsibility is to your child and pregnant wife. It's not like you are refusing to take care of your ill mother, in fact you are doing it However through her behavior she herself is making it impossible for you to do it peacefully. Getting out of there is absolutely important. Who cares if they call you the bad son!! Let them step up to be the good husband and good son if they are that concerned!!!!!!

Send wife & kid away to her home. Hire a cook & a nurse. In 2 shifts if needed. Focus on your work.

Protect the family you and your wife are creating, either send the wife to her parents place or move out, from what you are telling, already your dad, brother and his wife are thinking you guys are bad and fueling the fight so it's not going to change much..let them think you are bad, move out, put a caregiver...if you continue to endure this drama..it might break your marriage itself

Your wife and child needs you the most. You can’t change the outcome of your mother’s illness. Let other father and siblings take ownership for a while. You can support her financially but let other care of her emotionally and physically

Take help of any spiritual guru or use bach flower therapy for your mom. It works

Since you are married and having kids it's your primary responsibility to look after them. If their mother suffers in the process it's a deep neglect for them. So i would confidently advise you to move out. As the saying goes the man is loved with requirements but not by compromising his own family and future. The guilt of your mother's sickness might consume you recently but as per what you have said your wife is also enduring this while being sick and also being pregnant and also caring for your toddler. Since you have your father and siblings who are able it should not be your and your wife's sole responsibility to care for your mom. First off all move your wife away from your home currently as the pregnancy should always be your first priority as she genuinely deserves peace and rest. Call up your entire family dad and sister have an adult discussion. If it does not work move out. But advise that you will be there if there is any medical emergency in this way you can fulfil your role as a good son and as well as a husband and good father to your children. I understand the Indian ways but nothing should come ahead when it comes to your kids care. I wish you all the best brother. Stay strong.

Idea moveout and rent house side of ur parents. So u that go n takecare of ur parents. Same time wife can also live life. Just not think about wife. Think about ur children deserve happy household.

We talk about culture, traditions, elders wisdom, full family as one tree and this is what we get.. in fact men's lives are also not smooth they may not face I'll get treatment from their in ln laws but they juggle between the family they come from and the family they create.. sorry to say some parents specially mother of boys behave very immature emotionally and in that process ruin their son's life .

Move out of the house . Yes Cancer can be depressing . Off course take care of your mother, buy a flat near your house shift with your family . Appoint maid to look after your mother . Take control don't become insane in domestic fights . 2nd thing even if you give 100 ,%. Still you will be questioned don't care about others comment

Everything is in ur mindset. We cannot 100% please everyone. No guilt feelings. Send ur wife to her house immediately. Employ a caretaker for ur mom. Cancel wfh and go to office. Everything will fall at right place. Just proceed

I think u should move out . U have 2 more siblings who can take of ur mom. When these people are toxic then they can take responsibility of taking care of ur mom. I feel that is the solution

Best thing to do right now is hire a cook or a care taker and send your wife home. She needs mental peace for the 2nd baby Atleast and for her own sanity. You don’t want to deliver a baby in stress. For your own safety, record everything that’s happening in your house. Don’t care about what society thinks. Do the right thing. Worry about the things that are worth dealing and staying with. Your wife and kids come first at the moment. By the looks of it, your parents have support while your family that you built doesn’t. So you decide what’s necessary

Send your wife and kid to your in laws place and hire nurse for your mother. Your parents need psychological therapy to manage the fear of illness. That is contributing to their frustration. Manage cooking yourself with the help of your brother and sister. They also have duty towards their parents. Cook boiled food and eat fruits . Go work from your in laws place now and then.

Ur wife has epilepsy n is pregnant...send her to her Father's house for peace of mind....n hire servants for ur home....peace is important...at all cost

Send ur wife to her mothers house for delivery and recovery. U , ur siblings and ur father hire a caretaker and cook and split expenses.

Prayers for you. 🙏 Yur brother, father has to shoulder some responsibilities to maintain balance. Talk to your dad & brother, sister peacefully. Sister can help but she has to go to her in laws. Yur wife cannot over work in her pregnant condition wid 1 yr old on toes . For some time def send her to her parents place. Plz get some outside help too wid helpers etc. Moving out & paying xtra rent might be financial burden on you @current situation. Yur mom might be feeling frustrated wid her own health condition & maybe scared of losing her life. A simple shanti puja at home done regularly might bring some peace. For your peace Yu can start visiting temple, praying to God Shivji, chanting , meditation etc. it might bring peace. Yu need to concentrate on yur career too. By the way hope yur wife is seeing some neurologist & good gynae & obs to manage her condition. Coz if ignored it might trigger some other health complications. If yur wife is a good woman which is rare nowdays plz support her.

Move out. You have a life ahead of you. Allow the pieces to fall..you are not responsible to hold up the world . People will adjust Guilt ? Do a,small prayer and mentally hand over mom to the rest of the family... Very often bad behaviour is a hint that the person should leave ..happens even amongst friends. Maybe they just dont want you and your family around . Give that a thought. They just dont know how-to tell you...please leave.

Can you and your wife move out? Get a home of your own. But do visit your parents every alternate day. This should work

Send your wife and baby to her home. You are a morally strong person. But that should balance things. A distance of Shorter period won't create much difference and treatment of cancer is a long term process. Everyone s contribution is equally important. Let your younger brother marry. They will realise the value of your wife.

Get ready meals to tide you during this hump or Hire a maid to cook/clean! Send your 1 year old to mother’s morning out program (you will be free for 3 hours) or daycare. Get a caregiver come in for couple of hours to help with your mother. Set clear boundaries with your patents!

Please send your wife to her Parents house during this time if you think this will help. It should solely be your decision and not any of your family members. Just inform them , dont ask.

Step 1 ..send your wife to her parents place. Step 2: talk with your mom openlyn that she has to change , if she did not then move out

Move out and hire a help for cooking , cleaning and other chores , someone who can live in your house 24/7 Ask your brother and father to share the cost of house help then only they will understand

It's not just you...it's your father's and siblings responsibility also to care for your mother. Remove yourself and your wife and kid from this toxic situation immediately with zero guilt. Arrange for your mother's care by hiring a housekeeper. Visit them and maintain cordial relationship but don't stay there.

Stay separately from your parents but fulfill all your duties and forget what others will think about you

First of all, you are a good person. Secondly, your mother is suffering from a serious illness, and that could be affecting her behavior. Sometimes when people are unwell, they become irritable without meaning to. Try to spend time with your mother and support her during this difficult period. If it will be helpful for your wife to stay with her parents for a while until things become more stable. Hope your mother will get well soon..✌️

move out of house , take a job where you can go to office . first keep your mental balance ... Thats necessary ... Now your mom , she is terminally sick , God is master of her life ... You need to understand that she knows she is going to die , Hence her fear is seen in her behavior .. she is also going through chemo so her mood is not in her control ... Wish good for your mom , You got no idea when She would leave this world ... Your dad will calm down when Your mom leaves this world ... Now comes your wife - epilepsy , Thats trigger based and brain will get triggered if her immune system goes out of control or brain goes in ischemia ... so better move out for your own good or wifes health ... she goes in consequetive attacks you have another problem in House ... your wife will shut down or go in paralytic stroke .

Parents are not Gods..nor they are doing any godly behaviour to u or your wife.if they are intentionally ruining your peace, Let your father and brother take care of your mother and themselves. Just move out immediately and stay detached.let then realise their mistakes first

Option #1 . Move out and arrange for help for your mom especially because she’s reverts back to vicious cycle once she feels better even though she’s terminally ill. That’s telling something. Remove your guilt as you are being made the scapegoat here. In my view you are the compassionate son , good son and a responsible one. Both you and your wife are the good ones here. You are both manipulated because you feel guilty easily I think. So they are targeting you; learn to put physical and mental boundaries asap

Don't leave your mom. Stay where you are and send your wife to her mom's place so she can be at peace. Hire a cook or a maid to take care of the household work and also cooking. Here you need to go against your family and take a stern decision if not your mental health and peace of mind will go for a toss. Certain times you will have to take decisions which will put you under tremendous pressure but on a long run it will solve things. After your wife's delivery dont get her home. Move into a separate house and tell your wife you will have to work from your mom home so you can do your duty as a son and at the same time balance it to make sure your wife has some peace of mind. That way you will balance it both sides. Yes people will question doesnt your wife have the responsibility of taking care of her in laws. You can answer one simple thing, people deserve what they give to the other person. In your post I never saw a point which you mentioned thay your wife was not ready to support her in laws so which means அவங்க அவங்க மரியதைய அவங்களை கெடுத்து கிட்டு அப்றம் இங்க குத்து து அங்க குத்துதே nu kadhara vendiyadhu...

Do not move out, as your parents, siblings and everyone will start bullying you for leaving your parents while the mother is ill. Prepare your parents mentally that WFH will be finished soon and you may have to attend office for 3days a week. Tell that your wife has back pain if she stands up and make sure to send her to India and let her stay with her parents until the delivery is finished. Sometimes you need to be selfish to protect your sanity. Otherwise the family will break. Don’t be guilty about these small lies. It’s an act of kindness towards your self and your children while taking care of your mom.

Better move out with your family for peace of mind

Please move out of house .you will never gets these days back in our life again raise ur kids independently living separately.Trust me u r living in well jump up explore the ocean .Ur father is there for his wife .You should be there for ur wife .IF U WERE unemployed matter would have been separate MOVE OUT FROM HELL .one day soon ur wife will be terminally soon living in such condition I don't see anyone coming for ur help that time .May be because of his ur new born May also have abnormality please don't take me negativity but this affects a lot to a women .,as a women i understand this .I wish n pray u move out of hell and lead a peaceful life ahead with ur family

First things first: pls send your wife with the one year old toddler to her parents place so she can deliver in peace and not go into post or pre partum depression. She needs rest and care right now. Your younger brother and sister should help out more actively with food for the family etc. Grow a spine and be there for your family as your wife and kids depend solely on you. You father needs to take care of his wife ie your mother if he is bodily abled. Ideally, you should move out and do help out when you can and financially etc… If they are emotionally abusive and draining… and manipulating, these are the things you should do first. But for this you will have to draw strong boundaries and if you care about what will they say or what will people think then you and your family will continue to suffer and may be grow apart as well.

Worst thing is that you very well know the solution but you just need other people validation.

Best solution is send your wife to her parents house for a few days if they happily accept her Rest is destiny

Why can't you hire a caretaker or a nanny? Send wife to her home along with kid, have a doctor give her advice to take complete bedrest or it will affect baby . Just lie if needed. Hire cook n caretaker for your mom . That way everyone will be ok.

Move out and get counselling

You have an able bodied father and 2 siblings who are also functioning adult. Why are you even asking random strangers what you should do? You are responsible for your children including the one on the way!! Kindly send your wife to her parents's place. No second thoughts. Look out for a space nearby or take up co-working space and definitely step out of the house for few hours. Hire professional help. Cook, nurse etc and ASK your family members to pitch it.

Moving out with your wife and child..hire a caregiver for your mother. As your brother and father are working, ask them to hire a maid for household and cook. Sitting like this and crying on social media is not an option..you should stand up your own and take a strict decision. Don't try to please everyone.

what ur wife saying? you completely hid that part.? 😏 something is not right in your narration..

Let your father and brother take care of her. Watch your family. Your wife can go into postpartum depression as well. Your mom have many people to look after. Your wife have only you. Managing everything with new born and being pregnant again is huge. She should have a happy pregnancy. This will impact the one year and unborn child as well. And btw why she needs permission from your parents to visit her parents house ? Is she your slave ??

Option 1 take your mother and leave back your father and rest of the family. Everything thing will be solved. Simple.

Send her to her mother place. Get a full time or part time help to cook clean and take care of your mother. Your mother will take on all the frustration on the help, so she should be able to handle it

Arrange for a Cook Cum caregiver....

Your mother herself is ill and is taunting someone else for their illness. I used to think cancer would make one more kind. Pls move out. Keep a full-time nurse for your mom and pay for her. This is the best u can do. This way your mom will be looked after and your wife will also remain sane.

See, you are already portrayed as the bad son right? And by whom, your own parents. Then why do you want to do the duty of a good son? Be selfish, distribute the care taking of your mother among all your siblings and move out. Be the bad son and see how happy you will be. And please don't feel guilty for that, people should get what they deserve. If she can be harsh to your family even in her death bed, she deserves this treatment in her death bed.

I am not married but since I am a patient of epilepsy, I can assure you that constant emotional stress mighty cause epileptic seizures and affect not only your unborn baby but also your wife. Your mother has two other kids (your siblings) who are equally responsible to take care of her and also your father. Move out as soon as possible if you can afford it. Or send your wife and kids to her parent's place. Since yoh have WFH, you have the liberty to stay at her place for maybe twice or thrice a week and then rest of the days stay at your place. Divide responsibility with your other siblings. Sit somewhere where your parents are not present and talk to them face to face about everything. And tell them that you might harm yourself if this continues. Hire a cook and ask your brother and sister to help on those days when you'll be away staying and caring for your wife. Whatever the decision you take, don't stay in this environment. Your wife's neural condition might get worse and even the unborn baby can get affected especially because during pregnancy epilepsy medicines are diluted so that it doesn't affect the baby. Take care of her emotionally. Take help from your siblings, and your in-laws. Take to everyone, set proper boundaries and spare yourself from guilt and trauma.

My suggestion would be to prioritize your wife and children’s well-being. Your mother’s illness is tragic, but it does not justify emotional abuse toward your wife. If the home environment is consistently toxic, consider sending your wife to her mother’s house or arranging separate living arrangements. You can still support your mother through caregiving, hospital visits, and financial help without sacrificing your wife’s physical and mental health. Setting boundaries is not abandonment—it is a necessary responsibility. Protecting your growing family should be your first priority.

Honestly, option one is the right thing to do. You need to protect your family. The guilt you are talking about is nothing but the way Indian families are conditioned over generations. Have you ever questioned your dad to step up as her husband and take care of his ailing wife? Why is your wife burdened caring for your mom and her pregnancy? Isn't it human for a woman to keep a pregnant lady at peace and calm? Shame on the elders of most Indian families who glorify torture as love and care. Get out of the house and set strong boundaries. Remember, you are not answerable to anyone. You are an adult who has a family. Your family, meaning your wife and children come first. It is your father's duty to take care of his wife. Not your wife. Period. Sending your wife to her maternal home is not a solution while she is carrying your child. It's you who should care for your wife.

Send ur wife to her home, hire a house help to cook and household work. Then after the birth of the second baby please move out of the house and get back to ur family, let your brother father share the responsibility of taking care of your mother too.

Send mother to brothers house or protect ur family..you married to start a family. they are your immediate priority. Rest what tge sublibgs think or the narrative used is not really important.

You don't need permission from anyone to send your wife home. Imagine if you are like this mentally what would your wife be going thru?? Send her home ask your sister to cook. And siblings to take care along with husband. And ask your mother to seek forgiveness in her last days.

If finances permit, keep a caretaker. Save yourself and your family from emotional abuse. You can't be a hero in everyone's story. The question is in whose story you want to be the villian? Someone who is abusive and manipulative or someone who is standing with you 24*7?

As a woman with epilepsy and a mother of two kids I recommend your wife to be rested. If a seizure episode happens it'll hurt the unborn baby in the womb too. During seizures, blood oxygen will be low and the baby will suffer inside. The baby's health depends on the mother's health. Both mental and physical health. Let her rest , send her to her mom's place. Hire a maid to cook and clean the house and let the financial responsibility be shared by all. Why should the unborn baby in the womb be hurt because of this family politics. Post delivery, your wife needs support in feeding and taking care of the new born. How do you think she will manage. I hope everything will be fine soon. Happy father's day bro.

Send ur wife to mom's place and u go along too..until the 2nd kid turns 6m 1yr...be there or rent a separate home n move out..take turns to support ur parents afterall u r not their only offspring!! 3 of u are there tc all of u in cycles so that none of u miss ur parents as well ur responsibilities! Hire a full time care taker or maid for ur parents...ur wife or ur brother's wife need not be a maid for ur parents! (Them doing all our if love is separate but with ur mom n dad's character loving them is impossible by a DIL I think) So definitely only a 3rd person can handle them n their dramas..by this way all of u can be at peace

Move away far enough to not be easily accessible but close enough to be there in an emergency within an hour. Move away- literally and figuratively both. Be where u r valued not where u r constantly judged- even after doing your duties.

Just move out with your wife Some mothers to satisfy their inflated ego end up harming their own son

Move out. You might feel guilty anyways. Choose the option with less guilty feel. You atleast have your father, brother and sister to take care of your mother. You are alone to your wife

Choose option 1.

Hire a cook.. plus send your parents to your brother s house..

Send your wife to her parents home and then move out. If moving out is not an option, find a place to work or just lie that you are called to office and have to move to a city and move out..people don't understand the boundaries unless they are enforced forcefully.. you will be called ungrateful even if u and ur wife die serving your mom. You are the scapegoat of the family. The sooner you realize the peaceful you can be. Your parents are never going to treat your kids right. Break the cycle of abuse

Simple send ur wife to her parents . Ur mom health caring can be done by u,father or hire somebody who can help her whole day(Expenditure of 20-25 k and is worth). FORGET ABOUT UR FAMILY OR ANYONE IN THE WORLD.WHO SO EVER SAYS SOMETHING,TELL THEM TO KEEP UR MOTHER FOR ONE DAY.

Please opt for option 1. Anyways after doing so much they have tagged you as "bad". So just let it be. It's high time you take care of yourself, wife and kid.

The Hostage Situation: To make matters worse, I want to send my wife to her mother’s house so she can get some peace and rest. My family outright refuses and creates massive drama over this, entirely because they want her to stay here and cook their food : You have to balance yourself and make sure that you can give equal support to your mom and to your wife. It is your life, no one can dictate that, including your brother or yo our father as end of the day, your taking care of them. Do not feel trapped, you are not, just make sure your wife is staying at her mother's place for a while, and you commpletely take care of your mother and also make sure, your in regular contact and visit your in laws, if your brother and father resists, do not bow down and explain them, if they still resists, then ofcourse, they are making you or forcing you to make tough choices, which you did not want to make! All the very best.

Bro rent pe flat leke rho same situation mere father ke sath v hua tha and most important tumhari mother ke pass ar v log h but tumhari wife ke pas bs tum. Ar normally mujhe smjh nae aata ki log jese jese bde hote h wese wese wo humanities morality sb kese bhhulne lgte h like tumhari maa ko support Krna chahiye tha father or brother ko v situation ko handle Krna chahiye tha na ki ar khhrab Krna chahiye tha Common sense kyu nae h logo me ki HUMAN h.

Move out I have seen this if you move out then you can see that your mother and father will miss you and your caring wife

Hire a nurse and a cook for your mother. Move your wife to safety.. You see the abuses your self.. Your mother’s responsibilty is for your dad’s.You can support cant go insane with drama.Help by providing service not by not protecting yourself and your wife and kids.

1 st option is good

Leave them both and get out of there!

Like someone said, short n crisp 👇 Send wife & kid away to her home. Hire a cook & a nurse. In 2 shifts if needed. Focus on your work.

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Hire a full time maid or two who would become ur wife's substitute in ur household's chores.. if u leave now, u will be cursed, everything u did will be forgotten & u will be kept away even from property.. instead hire one or two domestic helpers so that ur wife has someone at her to work all day, let her rest.. if anyone opposes this, remind them that its either this or u are moving out. They will adjust.

Move out with your wife and kid and let your wife live her life as per her convenience. Visit your mom daily and do your part of the duty that you hold as a son. Rest your brother and father should take care of. Do not abandon them financially or emotionally. Illness brings out the worse in people. At the same time it's not your wife's duty to bear the torture. Balancing both doesn't seem possible with them both being under the same roof. Even if you talk strictly about this to your mother, a person's nature doesn't change overnight.