Comments for Post #C27328

#C27328 28M here. I never thought I'd write something like this, but I guess some things become too heavy to carry alone. My story started when I was in 11th standard and she was in 8th. I got to know her through a friend. We studied in different schools and lived in different places, so our relationship grew through phone calls and text messages. Back then, we had a recharge plan that allowed only 75 messages a day. Somehow, we managed to use every one of them. We shared everything—our days, dreams, fears, and slowly became part of each other's lives. For a while, family issues forced us to lose contact. I thought that chapter had ended. Then she joined college, reached out again, and we picked up right where we left off. We eventually met for the first time when she was staying in a hostel. She had only two hours of outing permission, and we spent those two hours at a cake and ice cream shop. It may sound insignificant, but to me it felt like years of conversations had finally found a face. Time passed. I completed college, got placed in Chennai, and we grew closer. We travelled together, spent more time together, and I genuinely believed we were building a future. I trusted her completely. I came from a modest background and knew what it felt like to have dreams that seemed out of reach. Since I couldn't achieve some of the opportunities I wanted, I wanted her to have them instead. I supported her education, helped financially whenever I could, and genuinely wanted her to succeed. For years, I believed what we had was real. Then during her postgraduate studies, I found out she was involved with other guys. My world collapsed. The strange thing is that even after learning the truth, I still wanted her. I've always been a one-woman man. From the moment I loved her, I imagined spending my life with her. What hurt most was that while I was pleading with her not to leave, she was pleading with someone else to come back. I'm not saying this to portray her as a bad person. Life is rarely that simple. But that was my reality. Eventually, she told me she didn't want me anymore. That period broke me. I went through panic attacks, lost focus, and struggled to function normally. The days passed without her presence, but never without her memories. To survive, I focused on myself. I worked harder than ever. One of the proudest moments of my life was buying my first car. Growing up, there were times when even owning a bicycle felt impossible. By God's grace, life had changed. Ironically, around that time, she came back. She said she had made a mistake and wanted me in her life again. Logic told me not to go back. My heart didn't listen. So I gave us another chance. Years passed. What started as a school-time connection had now stretched across more than a decade. Whenever I asked whether she had lost interest, I always gave her the option to leave. Every time, she assured me she wanted me. Yet the same patterns continued. I eventually discovered she was cheating again. The pain wasn't just about what she did. It was realizing that even after knowing her best and worst sides, I still couldn't stop loving her. When I confronted her, she disappeared from my life once again. And now, here I am. Alone. I know I'll probably never see her again. Never hear her voice again. For years, we shared every detail of our lives. She wasn't just someone I loved—she became part of who I was. It's been more than a year, but I still don't want to forget her. I still find myself checking her profile more often than I should. Not because I expect a message. In fact, a part of me hopes she never comes back. Because if she did, I'd have to fight the same battle between my heart and my mind all over again. I don't think she was an evil person. In many ways, she was one of the most beautiful souls I knew. That's what makes everything so confusing. The person who gave me some of my happiest memories also gave me some of my deepest wounds. Despite everything, I genuinely want her to be happy. And if there is such a thing as another life, I hope we meet under different circumstances—without the confusion, the hurt, or the bad timing. Maybe then our story would have a different ending. Today, I have a decent life. My family is proud of me. They're looking for marriage alliances because they're worried I'll spend my life alone. If I'm being honest, that fear lives inside me too. I don't know whether I'm holding on to love, memories, or simply a future I imagined but never had. All I know is that after all these years, I'm still trying to find my way forward. Sorry for the long post. I used to skip lengthy confessions and wonder who had the patience to read them. Turns out everyone's story looks long until it's your turn to tell your own. If you've read this far, thank you. You've probably spent more time reading about my relationship than the person in it spent choosing me.