Comments for Post #C27239

Dude, you’re not overthinking. A woman who seeks validation from random strangers at bars and wine shops, repeatedly puts herself in intoxicated situations, and admits to a pattern of abandoning boundaries is not a minor concern—it’s a glaring red flag. The issue isn’t that she had a past relationship; it’s the self-destructive behaviour and the need for external validation. Trust isn’t built on oaths and promises, it’s built on patterns. And patterns matter.

Don’t marry, don’t ask me why, but run…..

If even after telling you everything about her past, despite of encouraging her that she didn’t chose to hide things from you, you started doubting her and that’s may be natural. I will suggest you if you are at least 1% unsure about this marriage then don’t do this. This will lead to major issues in your married life and both of you and your families will have to suffer.

If you want a virgin in this day and age you will have to stay single all your life. So, that is not the real problem. People fall in love and that's normal. The drinking with random people on roadsides part however is an issue. It indicates a lack of control and dignity in both men and women. If you are so concerned, hire a detective. I can tell from experience that it will save you a world of trouble. It might seem like a wasteful expenditure now but, believe me, a divorce will cost you much more.

The fact that you're over explaining your own thoughts, speaks heaps, you're explaining it cause of judgement from society and maybe the girl herself. Don't worry about that, what society will think, what your parents would think, what anyone would say. Always remember in the end you have to spend your life with this person, if you're having doubts or questioning her past decisions. You have the right to step away. There will be people who hold you accountable and feminists saying you're insecure, but in all honesty you can't force anyone to respect someone they can't. So don't even bother or try. V!rginity is a choice, like women choose men based on financial stability, property, ethical standards, government jobs etc. like that. Similarly men have criterias as well, purity or chastity is one of them, partying, drinking, hell even smoking can be rectified, but loosing one's purity of the body is an irreversible step. And if someone has done it they would need to live with that choice, and if it's your filtration criteria then just step away. Marriage is not a one month or one year game, neither it's like dating, it's spending your life with someone. If you're unable to respect or value this person don't try it or be forced into it. If you agree now, I'm giving you 100% assurance your marriage is doomed for failure. Hope you take the right decision.

What if it was the other way round? Why cant men move on?

Bro She is a retired player now and you are just her retirement plan. Nothing more than that. Woh emotionally zyada available ho rahi hai aur sach bol rahi hai maa-baap ki kasam khane ke baad bhi . It's not because ke woh change ho gayi hai ya woh Woh aisa isliye kar rahi hai kyunki Tu achha Banda hai yaar. Virgin hai, Passionate hai. Abhi tak khud ko save rakha. Yeh ajkal ke bakchod relationships me na aya. Aur yeh baat woh janti hai ke tujhe loose karna ek bada loss hai. And aisa bhi nahi hai ke tum chale jaoge toh usko koi aur nahi milega. Mil jayega. Inko pta hota hai ke aise Nice Guys ko kaise emotionally manipulate aur xhootiya banana hai. Tum nahi phassoge. But koi na koi Nice Guy(xhootiya/simp/Cuck) toh phassega hi. And Main apne khoon se likhke de sakta hu ke sirf 1 banda nahi tha uski life me, aur bhi bahut honge. Agar 1-2 hota toh tujhe woh kabhi nahi btati kabhi pta bhi nahi chalne deti. Halanke aajkal toh pta chal hi jata hai waise kabhi na kabhi kahin se chaahe 1 hi kyu na ho. Baaki bro usne tereko isliye btaya kyuki usko bhi pta hai ke ajkal sab sach pta chal jata hai. But bhai sach me. 99%+ aise cases me yeh sirf Retirement plan hi hota hai inka. Last option. Baaki yaar aage teri Marzi. Bas yahi dua hai ke tu khush rahe hamesha aur tujhe bhi tere jaisa hi koi partner mile jo ke same energy carry kare aur koi r**d tere palle na padhe 😄

Please leave her for her good. She told about her and u are not 100% to accept her. Don't ruin her life as well as urs

Run, brother. You and your family are actually fortunate because she told you the truth about her past. Since she has been honest with you from the beginning, it wouldn't be fair to question or blame her after marriage if you later learn more details about her past. Virginity is not the issue here. You also mentioned that she has a habit of drinking. If your values and lifestyles don't align, you may find it difficult to build the kind of future you want, including financial stability and saving money. The real question is not about her past, it's whether both of you are genuinely compatible for marriage.

If you are able to accept whatever bullshit she has done in the past and you might predict she will be done in the future as well, then proceed further. Otherwise leave it for both of your betterments.

At least she is honest with you. If she has other hidden things you are wondering about, she wouldn't have shared anything at all. That's a clean start. After your first night, none of these virginity things matters. Her character, loyalty and love That's what matters for any meaningful relationship.

Leave her and don't ask these questions to next girl. Sorted by don't marry this one

Not normal behaviour to drink with random people outside shops and on roadside..an intoxicated person is in no control of his/her actions. what if she does it after marriage? Anything happens even slightly unpleasent between you two after marriage and you will try to find fault with your decision..you still have time. Discuss it with her and do what you feel like

When u hv doubt on a person, never go ahead in that relationship.... Even if she give proofs, u won't trust her completely... So better to end this and find someone whom u can fully trust...carrying on will give pain to you both..

Marry her if you can forget all this and accept her as your equal. Virginity has no meaning except a psychological boost or barrier. You won't get better match for being virgin. Don't get confused and spoil yours and her life.

You can't have her leave. You would have this doubt forever in life and if something good starts happening eventually your doubt would kill it. I completely understand how difficult it is to trust her. So don't make it more painful leave politely

Eak date marle or jam ke daru pila.... Dekh daru ke Nashe pol khulti hai ya nahi agar nahi boli toh uski capacity ka pata chaljaega or muh kholdi toh tere capacity ka. Win win 🤝

You no need drinking patner

thing is she is genuine to you so only opened up, what about hidden stories and getting married, like that lot of cases are there, also getting un-ruled note in this era is difficult, she should be true to you after marriage, for those scenarios if she is good means kindly proceed with her..

Hire detective and investigate properly / still u feel doubts break here and move on . U get better , donot trust girls 🔥

Run or Get ready to cemented in Blue 🛢️ drum

From a man-to-man POV, past relationships and especially the intimate ones do leave a lasting impact, agree or not. It can be both positive as well as negative. It goes for both the genders!! Although that is an honest approach, but if you are skeptical, you should not go ahead!!

Women are evolving. Men are not. Enjoy life dude. Why remain virgin at 25 or 30? Virginity is unnatural and becomes the biggest burden and biggest source of delusion for all men and women. Enjoy today. Don't waste your time thinking about forever. It doesn't exist.

Dude forget all of advices in comment, connect with coach with sing on insta. U will get ur answers.

If u need a virgin or someone with no emotional attachment maybe try for a 12 year old. :)

If this thing is triggering you don't go for marriage. Do whatever your heart says it's your life & no broadminded shit matters .. May be she gets bored after few bodycounts & wants to settledown with a stable future option.

Leave her forever and search another decent girl it is marriage not a timepass

Let's see. Potential alcoholic Seeking Validation Diregard to boundaries Fickle natured Weds Overthinker Parochial-minded Insecure Virgin In an arranged marriage set-up. Ahh.... I am giving this marriage 2 years tops before one of you two tip over the edge and call for divorce. Neither entity is in wrong. Okay to be on either side of the spectrum, that's what life is. But definitely not together. Call it off before it is too late!

Speak to your parents and say Tata bye

Considering the circumstances,it will be better if you left marrying her. Reasons 1.she was physically involved twice as per her own admission.It may not be true to her random drinking habits.It looks like she is testing you. 2. She is good, attractive but think one can't take a golden knife in its own heart! 3. A lady who has controversial past cannot be loyal in future particularly with a people like you.

No seal no.deal

Run and don’t look back

In which Indian city women are drinking with random people roadside? I am genuinely curious. Being in a healthy (and that will involve intimacy) with another consenting adult is fine. Irrespective of gender. And it is okay if that did not work out and now one wants to move on and settle. But at 25 maybe there needs to be more topics that need focus - career, higher studies etc.? Something is little off with that roadside binge drinking part. It is not about honesty. This pattern is not sounding good. Maybe you both should give your equation more time and take a call accordingly.

Detective hire kar ke, pre marrige verification karwa lijiye. Then you will get clarity

Your fiancee is perfect. It’s your problem that you are unable to accept that she is not a virgin. Don’t go forward with the marriage if you are unable to accept it. Find a virgin girl instead.

Retirement plan

Ek baar shaadi hogyi toh divorce aasani se nhi milega zindagi barbaad hojayegi !! Bhaagooo jaldiii uska Ex shaadi ke baad bhi wapas aasakta h aur agar wo agya toh affair firse shuru krdegi usse tmhare peeth piche tb jo tmhare liye abhi affection dikha rahi h na wo sara affection khtm hojayega. Virgin ho toh virgin ladki deserve krte ho tm Nahi mile toh single reh jana Par kisi bhi 1 past wali se bhi shadi mat Krna. Keep your standards high One wrong decision/ Woman can destroy your whole life.....

Don't marry her save yourself bro virgin deserve virgin

So? That's her past! You were not a part of it, so don't overthink, as simple as that. Your overthinking won't change what already took place. The faster you accept, the better it would be for both of you. She was honest about her past, so respect her decisions and choices, don't over indulge into thinking about the past.

She gave you the one thing most people never get: the truth. You didn't find lies. You found honesty and turned it into suspicion. Your problem isn't her past. It's your addiction to certainty. Every answer creates a new question because you're not looking for facts; you're looking for a guarantee. No woman can give you that. If you can't trust someone who voluntarily told you the uncomfortable truth, you'll never trust anyone. Stop interrogating her past. Start examining your fear.

She may have a low body count now. But in future, her body count will increase due to erratic tendencies to mingle with strangers. You can test her though. Ask her how she feels about orgies, threesomes and swapping. Ask it in a jovial manner - so she feels comfortable while answering it. Learn from hamza. You need to infiltrate into her mind to understand her better.

Run bro, drinking with strangers ends up in some other things bro, get her blood test done 😂

You are no saint don't try fix them broken hearts.😂❌

Leave her and run 🏃🏻‍♂️

Drinking with random people is definitely a problem. You know what you need to do, just do it.

Leave her immediately. Save yourself.

bhai kaategi pakka tera. and jo hsitoyr usne batayi na ho hi na sakta 2 baar ki ho. and baat 2 baar ki nahi hai bata hai past dekh kitna kuch hua hai. seedha banda hai. dhyan se reh sambhal. better to back out then to regret later!

Mat kar lala mat kar, Life barbaad ho jaayga Tera Bhai... ek decision tere life ka L laga sakta hai, paisa time mehnat zindagi izzat sb chala jaayga

"Paar meri sirf ek hi boyfriend thi pehle" Mardon k muh Marta aurat ko ghar lane se 3 time divorcee ko lana better hain. Jo aurat koi random mard ko boyfriend Maan k tang khol sakti hain woh toh shaadi k baad bhi yehi kar sakti hain kuch bhi uch nich ho toh kyunki character kabhi ni badalti. Jo aurat apni baap jisne usse paal pos k bda kita uska ni suun k kisi mard k baaton mein aa k unke emotional aur physical zarooraton k daasi bni unse kya rishta nibhani ka expectation? Aur aise aurat k liye hi aaj society k moral fabric aur sabse pehle unki ghar ki moral fabric loose ho jaati hain. Sirf jhut bol k khud k social image improve karne k koushish karte hain magar again, karmic effect zindagi bhar milte hain

Fir se saare comments padhne padenge🥲

Bhai unmarried reh lo isse acha

1 bar mere se mila sab clear kar duga

Bhag jaa bhai abhi bhi time hain 25 mein bawaal kar di bandi ne matlab shaadi k baad life hell wala scene hain

sorry but as you are an overthinker, i don't think your relation will work! if you can understand her and accept her and forget about what she said then please go ahead otherwise .. you know what to do !

You are 28 and expecting virgin these days toh bhai mat kar shadi single hi rhega zindagi bhar Bass yeh hai isne btadiya syd aage koi aur aayi woh ni btayegi

Kick her out, or else you will ruin your life

She only shared what you can digest till now 😂😂

🚫

Look, here thoughts of other people don't matter. If you don't feel comfortable, just tell this to your fiance and call off the marriage. Don't worry about what people say, but just care for the shake of your own peace of mind. Marriage is not a short term thing, and issues like this comes very often in such long journey. And believe me, this works from both side. If you were in her position right now, she must be the one who is seeking advice here.

Red flag..run

She has been honest, affectionate..but u still dnt trust her. These doubts will.keep increasing.. plz spare her n urself the pain n search for a different girl. Leave her plz

Bud how has been her anger management ? Disappoint management ? How is mindset towards money ? Have you analysed or observed it ? Some narcissists show affection and extreme sympathy and even show signs of extreme religiousness to hide their past or their other extreme temperament and narcissistic behaviours. She might just be seeking a shoulder to avoid herself from getting back to her old behaviours or she is using you to stop herself from deterioration. So happiness and laughter anyone can bring but observe and analyse how can she provide you with peace and how accommodative is she towards your temperament and downtime. How good is she towards making home and how constant is her effort. Hire an investigative agency and have them follow her for few days and submit you the report. Please spend some money now rather then spending all of your life savings post marriage

Red flag

Being skeptical is your right, that is your choice. Even a girl would get skeptical if she would have heard that her to-be-husband is a player. The easier the marriage is in India, the tougher are the divorces. Both financially as well as socially. So, be wise and take careful decision. Wokism and liberal views are that much beneficial until they boomerang back to haunt you for life. Be careful!!!

Run.. run..

Move on

Don't 🫣..

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Run bro

run run run

Please run..

Run bro

Stop the wedding, before u ruin urslf, ur mental peace n ur family's peace too.

Run Run and Run

virginity is not dignity, it is just lack of opportunity ;) so dont say u r virgin...see if she is true or not now and analyze her behaviour then decide...maybe she has past but if she has really changed then think about it...also if u r unsure even by few percent then dont spoil her life better dont marry her...she will get better partner

She definitely has not told you even 10 % and she will do that slowly and that's completely selfish of her. If she is so mature then she would have started with loyalty and not give this constant burden on you. What you are feeling is 100% natural and everyone will have that no matter boy or girl. Having said that, see if she does lie on small matter, she how she follow through on day to day commitment, how is her social media presence, drinking with strangers on roadside does indicate western influence ( which is bad they do have FWB , ONS ). Try to meet her friend and see how she reacts and talk to you around them. If you don't want to do anything then run. Not because she is not vergin but because of her drinking with strangers on roadside.

Take guidance from Steer-U.com. You can get all answers - who to marry; will she be the right life partner etc etc. This platform is very effective.

Tera katne wala h, call off the roka. Your fiancee belongs to the streets

Ur an idiot... She had all her share of fun.. Now got a stupid clean boy.. She will act good only.. Wait for her claws to come out

you are a virgin, your life is on line along with finances, law will be against you in future if anything goes bad. You dont have a past, why settle on anything less. Do you have any self respect? At 28, falling for sweet talks from a woman? Need to grow up before even having thoughts of marriage. My opinion: rrrrrrrun

Run away bro from such girl

You are a virgin so you deserve virgin

Leave her

Leave her and work on your insecurities

Virgin can't accept this kind of girl. Please stop ur marriage

A guy's mind cannot move beyond a woman's vagina. Hence proved. 😂😂 Typical misogynist indian mindset.

Is this for males as well? You're sick in the head!

She is not strong psychologically. Not appearing good girl for simple person..

Girl।actual body count is thrice if she told u below 3 twice if above three She used to drink with random men so she is a hoe Why r u taking chance Leave her

Meanwhile till your marriage , you also lose your virginity by having s** with 2-3 womens . Everything will be equal and you will stop worrying 😜