Comments for Post #C27150

You are truly a gentleman. Highly appreciated your thoughts. Your thoughts are right. Unwanted expenses push you to financial burden. You convince her for register marriage and later treat friends in some good hotel. In the current situation, it's really a great idea to save money than show offs. Talk to her about future burden and convince her for simple marriage. Clear all loans first and then enjoy life.

I think she is not asking for lavish wedding, she doesn't want court marriage and she is right at her place , marriage happened ounce so i am not very support on court marriage until some big critical scenario is there , and if girls parents need some financial support from their daughter and she is able to do then every girls should do that without any second thought and boys also should always support girls decision otherwise parents won't give proper education to girls whatever they provide to boys , and girls will be never compete with boys , girls population is almost half population of our country and most of them is house wife , its slow down our economic growth also .

Marriage should be a decision like a business deal. Keep the emotions aside, think of her as a business partner. Would you make a deal with this person? If the answer is no then better to stop this disaster of a marriage before it begins. I am not talking about Finance here. That is the first issue. The thing is that if both of you cannot agree about how the wedding will take place. It’s just an indication that in the future, you both will not see eye to eye on many other things to which will lead to fall out of the marriage. This is a huge red flag. soon all the Care and love will fly out of the window, and resentment, and frustrations will creep in.

After reading your post , old story of my distant relative came in mind. He married a girl and both earned well. He was from a well to do family, his father was a farmer but had good amount of land and stable income was there.But the issue was with the wife family,she had 3more sisters and a brother, and her family was poor, father was ill & bed ridden. After marriage she use to give most of her salary to her mother and later , started demanding money from husband for extra expenses (which was obviously funded to her family) slowly this thing became a burden for the husband, as there is no family saving for years, whatever the husband was managing to save , that too wife is giving away. Eventually this thing became a matter of regular fights. Atlast the husband had to divorce the wife , after almost 4-5yrs of marriage. ** One thing came to our mind that time, in our area old people says " marriage will be happy, if both bride & grooms family are of same financial status, and the girls family members doesn't involve much in the girls family matters.

Don't marry her. She is loving caring etc because you are ready to support in every manner. God forbid if sometime you'll not be able to provide that support, you'll experience the real meaning of frustration. Open your mind. P.s - Either wait for her, let her complete her major responsibilities or understand it's not gonna work the other way. #StraightTalk

Both of your salaries will not remain 55k forever, as years pass and as you both progress both your pays will increase and ease out your financial burdens so whatever you are worried about now is only a temporary thing. The responsibilities are there probably for a few years but yes if not a lavish one a good wedding is every brides dream.

Loan burden will known only after marriage and it will ruin both of your lives..Either cut down unneccsary expenses as you suggest .If she adamant better both separate now rather coming later to spoil both lives..

You are right in your thoughts, and she is funding her siblings and parents, siblings if they finish their education and land themselves a job - the responsibility reduces. Her parents is a lifelong commitment, ask if she has taken Health Insurance for her parents first. Destination or Dream wedding at this point is unwanted, let her fund thale Insurance instead.

You’re right from your perspective. But if both partners are willing to compromise a little, things can work out. Try to understand what a “lavish wedding” means to her, and then see if you and your fiancé can find a middle ground. Personally, I had a very intimate wedding, but it was still beautiful and meaningful. In fact, I didn’t even want a court marriage initially, unlike my husband and my family. However, we balanced each other’s preferences, and it worked out well for us.

Marriage is an emotional moment mainly for girls. You can't judge her financial behaviour with that. She sponsoring her family and funding her own marriage says she is genuine and caring . She isn't asking you to fund it. The only place where you need to be careful is her family exploiting her as she seems to be good hearted and blindly trusting. If love and caring girl is the priority for you, go ahead.. you will have financial issues for sure , but you can try to keep it with some boundaries. If you want a settled life and willing to take risk on love and care , break up the relationship..

Definitely you are good guy ..and she is the same . But you need to help her to understand the economics . Sometimes you need to do as per your pocket . You could promise her to do a lavish party ... After both of you guys settle in terms of finance. Lavish is nothing, it will cost you a years of money. .. .. it will fade away only after 1-2 days .

I would say find a new fiance

Discuss after marriage situation as well. How much support she would give to them. How many years. This shouldnt be never ending.

You must be straight forward with her and discuss financial matters seriously. Inform your parents too, if you think they will understand the situation. Don't leave this financial topic for after marriage, otherwise both will suffer.

I don’t know why people spend too much on weddings? Wastage of money. If marriage works well, celebrate 5th anniversary in a big way. Also I think that both families should be of almost equal status.

It doesn't end here....it may end in big fights and in divorce .....finance plays major role in marriage life.... Atleast she should lower her expectation in marriage..... As a gov servant she thinks she can repay any amount is true but not on regular basis....even inthis situation if she can't reduce her needs then the loans will continue ...be careful

In another few decades it will be great.. just get married as per her wish

Find a level 10!

She definitely needs financial management class and shouldnt burden her family plus her with a lavish wedding