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Comments for Post #C27136
Submit ConfessionGender: Male21 May 2026 at 8:38 pm
#C27136 *Long Post Alert* 40 , M, Separated , South Tamilnadu, ex infoscian I am going to polambify about my life, my situation, my recovery, Indian judiciary etc. Please ignore this if you don’t have time to read. This is my humble request. How marrying one wrong partner can destroy you life completely, I am an example to that. Me, my family (parents, siblings, broinlaw) suffered and now at verge of recovering. I was studious and disciplined kid from young age. All my objective from my childhood was to pull my family out of poverty. Give a better life to my parents and siblings. I did engineering from one of the top institutions in tamilnadu. I was brimming with confidence and positivity. I left India to work abroad around 2010. Left IT , moved into core field. I hold PR in a developed country. I am tall, good looking, fit. Never had any experience of relationship. All seemed fine till I got married. I was of the impression “I m good looking, im teetotaller, never did any harm to anybody, never cheated a girl, financialy stable, im patient, what worse could happen and I married a girl my family showed. She is educated too. Proper arranged marriage set up without taking a penny as dowry and full responsibility of marriage expenses. All looked rosy and life seemed in track for a peaceful life. But god had other plans. My ex was narcissistic person. Since she was not interested to stay in India, I took her abroad within few days of marriage. 3 years of life in abroad turned out to be hell for me. I lost my peace. She acts like a judge. For anything and everything, that she doesn’t like or even a small mistake of mine, she punishes me. She wont hit me, doesn’t calls me disrespectfully, but shuts her off completely. In a foreign land, were don’t even speak English, she avoids me completely for weeks and months. I am not talking about a mistake of me having an affair or even looking at other woman. I am telling something simple like I dropped water on floor by mistake. I have to apologise for everything. Her mistake or my mistake doesn’t matter. But I hv to apologize, keep apologizing for weeks till some day, her mood changes back. In those 3 years she never apologized for anything. I gave her a good life. She was a working in a measly job in India with peanuts as salary. I treated her like queen. Showed her the world. In return she expected me to her slave. I went into depression. Had suicidial thoughts. Somehow with help of friends I recovered. I didn’t want my family to know her real characted, so I didn’t tell these to them. When she became pregnant , my mom came there to take care of her. Actually I invited her mom to come. But they denied. So my mom came. Evenrything came out in open. Till that time, my family was thinking im the wrong guy getting angry with her. Mom was stunned looking at her real charater. 100% lazy 100% feeling entitled for everything, her ego , adamant character, hurtful words, she saw all firsthand. We came back to India. My mom was close with her mom. She conveyed this to her. Surprisingly her mom agreed to all and said I know she is like that only. Let her stay here for pregnancy ill advise her. She went to her home. My wife got angry because her actual nature suddenly came out in open to her family and my family. So what she did. Just to save her image, she told every wrong lies and imaginary stuffs to her family and poisoned her dad, bro and moms mind. Like I asked dowry to her, tortured her, my family tortured her (?? We hardly stayed in India, In 3 yrs at max she would hav stayed in my home for just 1-2 months totally). Pakka dramas. I can keep writing for another 10 pages. So fast forward to 2020..Her family started believing all her stories started threatening me and my family with cases etc. her dad being a lawyer helped it…..i sent a divorce notice..just to bring her to mediation table as every other route they shut us off… Of all these things only good thing that happened to me is my daughter. My family has 4 gradnsons,, only granddaughter, So my family celebrated her like a princess.. For that too, she filed a false complaint my family harassed my 2 yr old child….2022. I came to India to solve the issues. I had every case on my name that u can imagine. Dowry harassment , domestic violence, theft, breach of trust, social welfare department enquiry, Distrccit collector office enquiry, child abuse enquiry… I was about to travel to US to attend some business meetings 2 months ago. But now in 2022 mid, I am standing with accused in police stations to sign . Every week I hv to go to police station to sign. Applying bail for my family and myself in HC. Standing with accused in DV courts, Criminal courts, family courts… U cannot imagine the pain that a man goes thru these. Worst part she cut my access to my daughter fully. Now she is almost 8 yrs . She doesn’t know she has a father and that is me. In India courts work in this way and order 1. Influential person wins (genderless) 2. If both not influential, business person or top contact person wins (genderless) 3. Rich wins 4. Finally when both man and woman fights equally without influence, without any regard to man, court takes side of woman and trusts her fully. Fast forward to 2026, now. I struggled and went thru a lot of phases that no woman or man should go thru. Lost job with false cases. Parent diagnosed with a deadly disease and running to save last 3 years. Fell sick myself and after seeing my daughter once and depression took me over. I have a big house, car, farmhouse, good kind family to support.. but I am hollow inside. I don’t have peace. Luckily last 16 years of hardwork, took care of my financial burden last 4 years. I am alone for 8 yrs now. Case is going on for 6 years now. Most cases are completed. Divorce is reaching a good state too. I came to India thinking I can change her and save my falling marriage .. 4 years gone. I lost that trust long ago.. Life has dragged me down. But I have seen more struggles than this. I know ill recover. I sometimes even think I will give up Indian citizenship itself and just go back somewhere and settle. Now parents are worried about me. My siblings are settled nicely. My family is my backbone. After a lot of thought process, failed mediations, I decided to marry again or fall in relationship again. I started getting a feeling im a burden to my sick parents. I couldn’t withstand this loneliness any more. Recently started registering in the matrimony sites and started talking to few alliances. Oh god, the kind of questions some woman asked I feel like , I don’t know how to say. Please understand not everyones life is same. Not every man who is divorced is a stone hearted man to leave the kid alone. They are not left out. They are plucked from us, using the loopholes in Indian judiciary. Please leave ur assumptions if a man is alone coming from a broke marriage, there is 50% chance it may not be his fault at all. It always need not be he is impotent, he left kid alone, he had an affair, or he asked dowry. I hope Indian judiciary takes a strong hold and starts giving punishment to every filing false cases and false allegations.... At this generation, woman are capable of doing all these equally . Btw im matured enough to cross over all these. I just give a middle finger to all these judgemental mentals and move on. But it is painful sometimes. When you get a punishment in ur life for no mistake of urs, its painful to digest. I have a princess for me , I don’t know where is , how she is, or even she doesn’t know im her father. Pls don’t come up with ur legal options and advices. Whatever u recommend I wud hv tried it already anyways. I am done with these past regrets. Being financially stable, with a family back up itself I suffered so much. For man and woman , whom coming out of a broken marriage without support, I cant understand how much brave face you need to put to face this judgemental society. Literally 8 yrs of my life wasted for no reason. I even lost the interest to work 9-5 anymore and go back into the corporate slavery, working in big cities, driving in traffic hours even to move inside a same city. I reached phase where a simple life and peace is more important than any of these machine driven life. If I get a partner for that, I m more than happy. If you are in similar boat, I wish u man or woman, a good happy prosperous new beginning and new life… Above all these, peace is important. The world will forget us in just 10 days after our death. Its not worth bro !! Idhvum Kadandhu pohum !!!
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Comments (65)
Elephants are too big to fit into small boxes. They just move on to those that fit. You stuck around way too long, trying to fit in your wife's miniature-level thinking. Never too late for anything.
My heart goes out to you… even after going thru a tough phase, u never made it “gender biased” and that says so much abt you. With time, ur daughter will understand you and may find her way to u. You dont have to wait for it… vandha nalladhu.. varlanaalum ok dha… Also, its best u take time to travel, to sit with ur emotions… build yourself, not jus monetarily but spiritually? Relationships are jus a small part of life. Not life itself. Wishing u only the best✨
Halka Mon – Your Safe Space To Be Heard
From now on, you will be called the LONE WARRIOR.
Thank you for sharing your story in such detail. Regardless of anyone's opinion about marriage, divorce, or gender issues, it is clear that prolonged conflict, separation from a child, multiple legal battles, financial setbacks, health challenges, and caring for sick parents would take a heavy emotional toll on any person. One important point your experience highlights is that broken marriages are often far more complex than the simplified narratives society tends to create. People frequently assume that if a marriage failed, one side must be entirely guilty and the other entirely innocent. Real life is rarely that straightforward. False assumptions can be unfair to both men and women who are trying to rebuild their lives after a difficult separation. At the same time, individual experiences should not be used to generalize about all women, all men, or the entire legal system. There are men who suffer from false allegations, just as there are women who suffer genuine abuse and struggle to get justice. A fair legal system should be capable of protecting genuine victims while also discouraging and penalizing knowingly false complaints, regardless of who files them. What stands out most from your post is not the anger, but the resilience. Many people would have completely given up after years of litigation, career disruption, health issues, and losing contact with their child. The fact that you are still looking toward healing, companionship, and a peaceful future shows considerable strength. Your observation about peace is also worth reflecting on. After a certain point, status, property, titles, and career achievements cannot compensate for the absence of emotional well being. Many people only realize this after going through major life crises. Whether someone agrees with every conclusion you have drawn or not, your story is a reminder that people carrying the label of "divorced," "separated," or "single parent" often have battles behind them that outsiders know nothing about. A little less judgment and a little more empathy would make rebuilding life easier for everyone. Wishing you strength in completing the remaining legal matters, healing from the past, and hopefully finding the peace and meaningful relationships you are seeking. As you said, "Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum", this too shall pass.
I second you in every way…mental peace is so important even if you are existing alone or with a partner.. without the right fit (in terms of how someone is as a person) very few things matter in the long run..
That's right! Peace is so important. But the guilt doesn't go away. My 4 years have been a waste. The only good thing was the birth of my son but I feel so sorry for him that he got such a man for a father. All you need is a fresh start but please don't give up on your daughter. I don't know how the custodial arrangements are for you and if you weren't able to see her for a long time then please don't stop trying. Wishing you luck!!
I can understand how u feel, bro. Don't worry about what society thinks. Don't rush into another marriage. Take your time, focus on caring for ur parents while they're still with u, and make the most of those moments. Also, try to travel, enjoy vacations, and build meaningful friendships around the world.
When I went through a similar phase, I was told to make as if I paid a debt to him and his family. Maybe in past lives, I made em suffer and in this life, they did same to me. This became my mantra in that darkness. Today I am stronger, happy and wiser and can speak for myself. This time take the time well to choose your partner. Life is giving u another chance to happiness 😊 Wishing you good luck. Take care :)
Get back to your life... Already struggled a lot...Now restart & live your life, leaving every thing behind
It's the courts that messed with you because she said so, courts the the coolant one here
Feeling Sad after reading your post..
Plese be brave and wait for karma. They will get back what they gave you or may be 100 times more worst. But do not go foe second chance right now.take ur time.healing takes time.sometime your whole life.
I think you should file case for custody of your daughter. If your daughter is with you, you will feel better. You also file false cased your ex to make her realise. By now, you would know how judiciary works. Get married with precaution. If you find someone genuine only then get married. Dont hurry. Marriage is not the only thing in life.
Wish you all good things hereafter...Love to you
When someone feels that they are 100 % right and the opposite person is all pure evil, it gets a bit suspicious. I am sure both of you had behavioral issues and compatibility issues. You must learn from your past mistakes and move on in life with a positive attitude, instead of showing your middle finger to potential partners and playing the victim all the time. It is ok to fail in life, it's not ok to learn nothing from failures. Focus on your allotted time with your child and find a good partner by keeping your expectations grounded.
Sorry to hear your experience. This should not happen to anyone. However in the whole write up - I haven’t read a single sentence where you have said that you sought counselling or therapy. Don’t you think you should seek counselling support for the trauma you have been through. Since you are an Infosys employee - you will surely have EAP counsellors who will keep your information confidential. I hope you choose to get counselling and feel better soon
You need to heal first before you get married again while being traumatised by your past. Better to seek therapy to get over all that trauma while you start afresh. Also, dont get married again unless you are really sure about the person.
எது நடந்தாலும் மனம் தளராமல் வலிமையாக இருங்கள். கடந்ததை விடுத்து, நம்பிக்கையுடன் முன்னேறுங்கள்.
I am also facing same things man but the point here is, dont try to find happiness in other person, people change, situation change. Dont depend on anyone for your happiness, be content with yourself, heal yourself. Enjoy your own company, the best person for you is yourself.
Hi Read u r lengthy story yes sometimes we need to suffer for no mistake of ours. I am one among that. Feel free to chat with me as i am also sailing in the similar boat
Karma is a boomerang,just back up get back to life forget the traumas All goodies will be back to u in some form ,believe me.
as a woman I pray for u sir that soon u have a peace in ur life don't worry every thing going to be ok just keep going don't give up god only tested u after this some thing good going to happen stay positive
Keep the faith.
palanathu palanathu nadanthu pochu ba...kiruku avatha ellam nanmaike nu po...inime at least un life nalla irukum...solluvanga la life starts at 40 nu...unnaku athu nejam...u will get good life inime jolly ah iru
Why are people like this I can only wonder...I mean seriously? Why is Indian Justice System so skewed ?
Vaa machi sarakku podalam.. both sailing in same boat
Sorry for you. I dont know what to say here similarly one of my friend had tough time. But now he is happy. Hope you will get a new life she bring peace to you and family. Prayers for you
It's so sad..what an innocent man has to go through if you marry the wrong person 😔.. Hope you are able to get through this and have peace in future
Thank you for sharing your story. What stands out most is not the pain you’ve endured, but the resilience you’ve shown through it all.Despite years of challenges, loss, and uncertainty, you have continued to move forward. That takes remarkable strength. Life may not have been fair, but it hasn’t taken away your ability to hope, rebuild, and start again.Wishing you peace, good health, and a brighter chapter ahead. May the years to come bring the happiness, stability, and companionship you deserve.
A tight hug for you friend I don't know you but I can feel your loneliness... Kanha ne kuch to socha hoga Trust him 🫂
Don't worry bro , hope you get a good future . Trust god 🙏
Wishing you peace and happiness and a good life hereafter.
Sh*t happens in life. Dust yourself off, stand up and start a new chapter. You are traumatized from your experience, so find solutions. Take time and Heal. Go solo, go spiritual, seek help, use therapy. Cleanse yourself and start your new chapter..... Turn the page. Every one comes with a fixed amount of suffering..... nothing less nothing more. New chapters await you. All the best
Take care of yourself and family bro..
Stay strong like now and always brother 💪
My heart goes out to you. My only advice you take it or leave it is visit a church where they expose the blessed sacrament pour out your heart to Jesus and experience the miracles you will draw unimaginable strength.
Where is your daughter in all this?
U have gone through so much brother.. I wish u get a fresh start 😊
I feel so bad for you.....
lot of blessings to you
Brother, I can understand u well since half of what u told happened in my brother's life. At times , I even lost faith in God seeing the atrocities of the woman and her family.. I know consoling words cannot soothe ur pain. But ur confession like this must be an eye opener to others and women who try to simply make Husbands as slaves , loot all the money they have and give them Fake cases. That woman will stand all alone one day begging to u.. This will happen. Ur daughter will defntly realize how toxic her mother is and return to u. Sure..
Stay strong you brave
I can feel every word of yours as I'm sailing in the same boat! Hope you recover from this trauma and have a good life! 🙏
Sad to here this ! Don’t worry the sun always shine 🙏🏼
Thanks everyone for your comments. Though my confession is posted very late ur comments are a motivation to me. Thanks again
Your first paragraph sums up the best advice for any man. I'm in a similar condition only. Some women are too arrogant & egoistic.
Except the cases, being a woman, nice and everything for a husband, I all those things what you have mentioned in your story.
Brother, just join SIFF group on telegram, there friendly counsellors are there.. You will have relief from them.
Sad bro
OMG. Me too tamilian.. i don't know how our parents taking so much time and still picking perfectly wrong pairs to live with it.. be strong.. Tc.
Only Narcissistic abuse survivor can understand. Silent treatment kills!! Last sonna word thaan true !!! Simple life um peace um than important!! 👌🏻 Correct uh சொன்னீங்க
Hey are you okay now ??? Honestly you mention death in your last sentence and I am kind of scared after seeing it.... Listen I know you have lost precious yourself your life, you suffered for someone else's fabricated lies and the judiciary system which is kinda blind. Just stay safe and try to get back to the main track soon... Wish you wish you a very happy come back!
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Why are people getting into arranged marriage in 2026? 🤣🤣🤣
Divorce her, take care of your daughter n parents. Build your life back, go to work or do small business. Karma will hit them back.
Nature is cruel. It always swaps us with people who takes away every sanity.
To be frank, my situation is more or less same. The only difference is that I didn't faced any criminal cases. Within a few months of my marriage, I found that I was trapped. So, I just twisted the table and made them ( her and her maternal family ) to taste the medicine what she gives to me. I would not care about her attitude if I didn't commit any mistake. I would not say sorry just to end the fight or for reconciliation. Her whole family wanted me to be their slave. But, i didn't satisfy their ego. In fact I was keep on hurting their ego. One fine evening, along with her jewellery and with my family jewellery, she went to her maternal home with the help of her relatives ( parents and some others ). I went there ( her native ) to bring back. Their was a fight. Then I Sent a legal notice. Filed a petition for the dissolution of marriage. She wanted to separate me from my son. I Filed a petition for visitation rights. Got a order to visit my son twice in a month. Then I withdraw my divorce petition just for my son. But.... she don't want to Restitute. So, now she applied for divorce now. Now, without even the visitation order, I'm visiting my son just by going to her native. One day, she told that if i visit her native to see my son, then she will complain against me in police station. I said to her , " go ahead". And i asked her Who will file FIR if a father visits his son. Then she found that she cannot threaten me. Her parents understand that they cannot say anything. My son is always comfortable with me. Mean time, I applied for LLB. Now, I'm stepping into third year.
Yes Men are second class citizens And Second class parent ...!! To INC no matter how much money you have.😭😭
This is what happen to chutiya simpy buggers like us. I bet your mom would be soft hearted and would never had raised voice against anyone and always do gooder. As per my observation it’s the fault of mom’s who are themselves are soft natured and adjusting in nature raise their kids to be soft natured and always accommodative and always do and expect good in others and never stand up or confront the wrong doings and only raise their kids to suffer in silence .those kind of moms definitely attract narcissistic and saddist daughter in laws(I have studied and observed amount 6 -7 families in my circle) 1)you should have eliminated her in the US itself, go for some hiking and push her off some creek or falls and claim she slipped and finished . 2)drown her in the bath tub and make it look like a heart attack. Common man ,how come you didn’t foresee all these actions ?
Getting justice is next to impossible in India. And a female with a child who has no extra marital relationship with get priority. I see many men facing harassment these days.I would say that you avoid remarriage or having relationship with other women for few years. Enjoy the free moments of your life
Find a good lawyer and screw her family along with her. Claim bankruptcy and get her to pay all the expenses. She will struggle and eventually, will get the custody of the child from her and your parents can celebrate her.
So very sad. You should not have brought a baby at your situation. Now your princesses is also a sufferer in the broken marriage.
Move on mate.she is toxic
Bad things hate good people. This is true! She's a manipulative b**ch and ungrateful. Period. You're just unfortunate.