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Comments for Post #C27124
Submit ConfessionGender: Female19 May 2026 at 1:58 am
#C27124 Hi Female living in abroad. Please help me how to overcome this, married and having a kid. This confession is about my husband who is very obsessed with his parents sometimes it’s going overboard. Yes, I’m living in abroad but it makes it more worse. From the beginning he always wanted to take them here but they are not ready to come as their daughter would left alone in the meanwhile he sent me couple of years to India where I’m living only with my in laws and rarely allowed to visit my family after moving here somehow managed to get job and doing wfh but 0 support from him. I often feels he is innocent and family oriented man but recent obsession make me to hate him to the core, his family once started coming here he often takes them here every single time even all outing vacation plan everything postpone until they arrive without leaving single spot/restuarant/mall/places also most of the time we will be traveling where even my friends got shocked seeing his behavior and I’m not allowed to show faces or get angry including late night movies tv personal time kids discussion everything he is involving them we are not even going for grocery shop alone if I ask he a threatening that he will move from here I’m okay with that too I just need job there as I have 0 financial support from my family but he never cared now he wants to stop all extra curricular activities for my kid so that we can spend more traveling time trust me we are here for more than 6 years(including India visit) but travelled only 2 places initially marriage time and now with them almost covered(7 long distance) and infinity local spots in a very short time I really dono how their parents have energy they are enjoying this life I’m okay but don’t they think it’s too much interference with my family and my mil is always competing with me interms of everything I’m already fed up. We never sit and talk about us no kids future or financial discussion only planning to take them out or where to eat today which place to see today. Is it normal should I adjust and live the rest of the life like this? Or am I overreacting? He never bought single gold jewelry for my kid never planned grand bday celebration always threatening to move to his hometown and stay with in laws and joining my kid in local school where I see even lower middle class people celebrating their kids so much but even having everything double income still living like a maid. It’s not about abroad obsession I’m missing India more than anything but my financial situation and his behavior no proper plan for my kid schooling or future makes me worried he never allows me to take decision his thoughts always surrounded by his parents based on their comfort we need to adjust school home everything like it’s a row house or common bathroom we should not question. How to deal with this?
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Comments (23)
The problem is that he is controlling and imposing your in-laws on you. He is not fully grown as a man, I know that respecting parents is our top priority, but after marriage we have additional responsibilities, we also have to manage happiness and quality time for our partner. And it is our responsibility to maintain a balanced life between parents and his wife. But unfortunately he is not aware of this or he knows and is doing it intentionally. I suggest you start job/business and try to be independent. Ask him about your personal space and quality time if it is agreed then good otherwise you can go for other options.
You’re feeling suffocated, which is understandable. But, you can’t change his love for his parents or how he treats them. He needs to balance which clearly he is not doing. Your options are: 1. Become financially independent and move out 2. Learn to adjust The choice is yours to make.
Halka Mon – Your Safe Space To Be Heard
The confessor says here there etc.. reading this is difficult..
Husband ko fever me lo, nhi aaye to Aap india aa jao, Etna life experiences to ho gaye honge ki aap apne bete k sath survive kr loge akele, india me b WFH job kr skte ho, sahi se raho khush raho. Sabko khush rahne ka hak he❤️
choose one path ..and live happily about it..later dont say i choose this and I am still not happy
I think u will have to take a strong stand and not be scared. Utna hi kaam karo jitna bane...u r not responsible for his parents. Ladai hone do...do only jitna bane and throw attitude. Make friends, hire help with your salary and enjoy your life. Dont waste and dont be threatened by his sukhi dhamki
Actually aap control ho rahi hai. I am ok with this, I am ok with that, bol bol ke khud ko aap ne sacrifice karne ke liye trained kar liya hai. Aur ye aise hi nahi hua, bade bade khwab dikhaye gaye, even in-laws ne husband k profile ki, aap ke samne zabardast marketing kari ho, husband ne khud ko itna mahan bataya ho, aur fir aap ka trust jeet liya. Slowly aap ke parents se aap ka connect drop karwaya, taki zada kisi se aap suggestions na le sake. Aur jo threatening ki baat aap keh rahi, wahi aap ki need hidden hai. Aap silently apne husband ke behaviour ko observe karna chahiye. Husband wife ke jhagde ko lightly nahi seriously lena hoga, kin baato me normal jhagde ho rahe, kya usme aap ko unnecessary blame kiya jaa raha? Husband ka behavior normal to nahi hai. Wo trust nahi karte, sath hi sath responsibility ko bhi nahi nibha rahe, jaan bujh kar ke, kyu ki apne parents ke liye wo sab kuch kar rahe, chahe to aap k liye aur bachche ke liye bhi utna hi kar sakte hai. Even control yaha tak hai, ki aap ke finances ko husband aisi jagah kharch karwa rahe ho,ki aap ke hath me paise save nahi ho paa rahe ho, taki waha se aap nikal na payen. Gold jewellery ke liye feel karna bhi aap ka jayaz hai, coz ye ek safe side feel deta hai, but aaj tak aap ke liye ye nahi kiya gaya it means aap ko independecy nahi dena chah rahe. Ye symptoms hai, ek damaged mindset ke. Agar inme se kuch sach me reality check jaisa feel deta hai, then you should talk to your parents. And last thing, aap ka visa passport ye sab aap ke hath me hai ya husband ke pas hai ye must way me check karieya.
You can avoid all the stress and drama by taking up a job while your kid is at school!
Unpopular opinion and you may not like this. This is also tough to implement. From your confession it appears the road to your husband's heart is through your In laws. Give your In laws one chance this time before taking any harsh decision. Next time they are visiting treat your In laws like your own parents. Slowly start taking care of them (glass of water etc.). Speak to them like you talk to your parents. Slowly talk about the hometown they grew up with. What were the prices of commodities those days. Help their hobbies and interests etc. Also before your in laws are visiting, insist to your husband about specific groceries to buy. Tell your FIL MIL prefer this. Try all this to win them over using your care and love. This is unpopular and difficult. If successful they will start supporting you like their daughter and a princess
Just matter of time how many years ur inlaws going to live don't worry so much just don't argue with ur husband he is not going to understand u for that mental maturity is needed that most men lack u just survive like that adjusting other wise leave everything move out
He is a very controlling and manipulating person. He is trying to emotionally blackmail you. Don't expect much from him or stop expecting anything from him. All these situations are very overwhelming for you and make you helpless and suffocating. You have to be strong. Stay focused on your and your kid's needs and happiness. If you want to know your future then I will highly recommend steer-u.com You can either ask a customised question or choose a question from the list without disclosing your name. Good luck and more power to you.
odi poidu ;)
Why delay, divorce him right away, if you don't like his parents? Simple and straight forward way to go ...
He threatens you that he will go back to hometown, so tell him "LETS GO" He is using this fear to control you. You know he is trying to control you but you feel helpless because you don't earn much. Do one thing, start telling him that your company will send you for business purposes to another city. Start taking these mini vacations when his parents are here. Let him and his family cook, clean, and take care of the kids. Also, start bringing your parents for longer months. Let him feel what you go through. My brother is going through the same, his wife brings her parents every month while my parents visit them rarely. My brother was ok initially but slowly he got tired of adjusting every month.
Adjust with his parents. Most women these days never treat husband parents as their parenst and vice versa
This post is so garbled, it's impossible to read the whole thing. I don't understand why folks have forgotten how to punctuate, or even use capital letters wherever required. Makes it easier on the eyes.
Hi
Why in your confession you keep saying my kid multiple times ?? Is the kid not his ?? Or from previous marriage ?? Whatever it is both should take responsibility equally . You are not in a good state of mind , please consult therapy or go to your parents house to stay for some time . You are burnt out exhausted and staying like this ftom past 6 years .. please seek help !!!
Vent out ur anger....speak bold...voice ur problems....u have a job...if he threats what u r going to loose ..u have job na....come to India and continue ur job ..if u became bold he will loose else it contnd ..
People have a problem that the in laws are treating them badly , are abusive and don’t care but here she has a problem that the husband takes the parents out for trips and to restaurants. Gosh ! What kind of people are there in the world .
india are one best schooling system in world , Much cheaper than world .... Your husband is abroad prbably because his parents educated him in India only ... If you have plan a travel with your in laws what your problem ... Going out with Whole family is a joy . enjoying with Family is Joy ... If he never bought Gold jewellry that his choice ... PROBLEM is your husband is not emotionally attached to you ... iF YOUR HUSBAND NEVER KEEPS YOU IN ANY FINANCIAL DECISIONS OF HIS or about His Kids , That shows he does not Trust You ... You are not part of His trust circle ... Its pretty visible ... So choice is your . Become financially independent .Find a job . Buy urself Gold or jewellry or plan a trip ...
Stay with inlwas and not allow u to visit your home? They need to b in jail! Why do women tolerate such crap 🤡💩?
Better to reign in hell than to serve in heaven. Come back to India,go for job and stay separately with your so.