Comments for Post #C27065

#C27065 I am a 27-year-old unmarried woman. According to society’s beauty standards, I have always been considered average or unattractive because of my dark skin. I grew up carrying that insecurity throughout my life. Career-wise, I am doing well, independent, and earning decently, but emotionally I have always struggled to find genuine love. Every person I ever liked either rejected me because I was dusky — even when they themselves were dusky — or only wanted physical relationships without real commitment or love. I also lost my father, and since then I have carried many emotional responsibilities silently. My mother is getting older, and I constantly see her worrying about my marriage and future. Somewhere deep inside, I feel pressured to get married soon, settle down, and leave this house for her peace of mind. Sometimes I feel like I am running against time emotionally, mentally, and socially. Then, unexpectedly, I met someone and we started talking. I genuinely fell for him, trusted him, and took the relationship seriously. For more than two years, we discussed marriage, and I believed we were moving toward a future together. Recently, when I started pressuring him about marriage, he finally admitted that he had lied about his age from the beginning. I thought we were the same age, but in reality, he is two years younger than me. I felt shocked and betrayed. At the same time, I started noticing many things I had ignored earlier. He is still confused about his career and not serious or passionate about building a stable future. In the last two years, we have never really gone on proper dates. He never planned surprises, never wished me properly on my birthdays, and rarely made efforts to meet me. Most of the time, we only met when he wanted to watch a movie because there is no PVR in his town. Financially too, I have carried most of the burden. During trips, outings, and plans, I usually spent around 70% while he contributed 30%. I am not against splitting expenses, especially since I am financially independent, but in return I never received emotional effort, affection, attention, or consistency. He forgets plans he himself makes. During video calls, he often does not even listen properly when I speak. I constantly feel unheard, unseen, and emotionally neglected. Despite all this, I still love him and kept convincing myself to adjust because I wanted stability and marriage this year. But now it feels like I was emotionally scammed. At this point, I feel lonely, empty, and confused. Part of me wants to trust him and continue because I fear starting over again. I come from an Indian mindset where marriage matters deeply, and arranged marriage feels intimidating. But another part of me feels tired of begging for love, attention, and effort in every relationship.